Wow it’s dusty here

To say it’s been a while would be an understatement….
I only reread the last 3 or 4 entries, but life is certainly a helluva lot different now than it was then.

Journey, my blue eyed beautiful kitty died last week. The 23rd. She had been sick for a month or so, with many trips to the vets, and I was mostly just waiting for the day I’d wake up and find her dead. But unfortunately for all of us, it turned out differently. Instead, I woke up to her having seizures all over the apartment and it was rather awful…my friend came over and sat with me for hours, cuz the vet wasn’t in. And in the end, I took him up on his suggestion that I just go for a walk. And when I came home she wasn’t in any pain any more. Another friend helped me bury her (well, totally dug the hole while I stood there) and. And now there’s just a big empty place in the house. Despite 5 ferrets, 7 rats, 3 hamsters, and Pandora. Lah.

I’m no longer working in social services (hello, burnout…) and after about 6 months of no job and major depression, I started working at the cafeteria on campus. I like to describe it as a job that a monkey could do. But I get paid, and benefits, and no one tries to beat me up or throw desks across the room or molest their siblings or anything, so it’s nice to not have to deal with that shit any more. I will go back to social work at some point. But right now my brain needed a break.

I’m not on meds any more. And I’m happy. As in, non-depressed. For the first time in I’m not sure how many years. It’s very, very weird.

I have the bestest friends ever. Equanimity wasn’t ever something I experienced in relationships before, mostly because it wasn’t something I was comfortable with or something I knew how to do. But now that I’ve figured it out, it’s pretty damn awesome.

I’m finally learning guitar, for real. Lessons (almost) every week from a real instructor. And I received a decent guitar for Xmas last year (from instructor, who is also one of the bestest friends).

My relationship with my mum is pretty good. We’ve come to mutual understandings that she’s who she is and I’m who I am and as long as we’re happy that’s the important thing. Meanwhile, my relationship with my sister is…hmm. Crazy, fucked up, non-functional? Dunno. But I haven’t let it break me. I’ve just accepted that she doesn’t accept me for me and that’s her problem, not mine.

I’m about to get a display ready to go up in a local restaurant (hmm, not sure I’d call it that, exactly. It’s a hot dog joint, more like it!) as a bit of a guinea pig. They offered to the arts council to let us hang works there, and so I volunteered to be the first. Need to pick the pieces and get them framed now.

I’m without a camera. And it SUCKS. I do have a zillion pics on the computer to use, but still. It kills me to be without a camera!

I went to the ocean for a week this summer- the outer banks- with my friends and their family. And it was seriously amazing. It really helped me get back on my feet and get on with my life. It was such a stress-free trip and SO fun.

I’m considering being a paid member here again, for the new year. I’m active on FB, but I do miss having somewhere to just write and write and write. And the nonpaid layout is killing me a bit. Although, that being said…

In debt up to and over my head. Mostly don’t answer the phone unless it’s a number i’m sure of, cuz I’m sick of talking to the credit companies. Hooray for debt. ugh.

Hmm. I seem to be out of words. Odd, that….