copied from FB, cuz I’m lame/lazy like that…

Yes, life sucks big fat siphilis-infected donkey balls right now.
Yes, I’ve been making morose and dejected “status updates”
Yes, my profile picture speaks to my state of mind.

But I’m ok.

Yes, “ok” is a relative term.

But still, I’m ok. Or I will be. Or I think I will be.

You know what? I have no idea one way or the other. I’m kind of taking it one day at a time for now. Which is why I’m so horrible about getting back to people and returning messages or assuaging concerns. Cuz one day sucks and the next is a bit better and then the next day sucks again and the saga continues.

Chances are, I update my status when I’m in that “i want everyone to know that life sucks siphilis-infected donkey testicles right now” stage. Which is different than the “I don’t give a shite about anything” stage. (Erm. It’s a good thing, really…the donkey balls stage, I mean. Or. It’s better than the alternative…..)

My point is: Thank you for being concerned. And I’m sorry I’m not the greatest conversationalist at midnite when I’m sleeping. And I’m sorry I suck at reaching out in any kind of helpful, constructive manner. But hey, Facebook just makes it so damn easy to be Passemo. (My new word. It means “passively Emo”)

And thank you for caring enough to call. Or to email certain 3rd parties.

Oh. And the extended version of what’s behind all the passemo:

So, I run a redlight and hit a semi truck. Police arrive, and are all fine and dandy with writing it up as a “non-reportable incident” which means no one was hurt and both vehicles are drivable. (Oh, I’m not really materialistic but…still, it hurts to see your mostly-brand-new barely-scratched car with it’s hood crumpled into an accordian.)
This is all settling in and I’m waiting for the officer to bring my paperwork back. So he ambles on over and says “So, how long have you been driving with a suspended license?”

Uhm…..excuse me? I haven’t been! My license isn’t suspended!!!

Oh, but apparently it is. The only thing I can think of is that I have unpaid parking tickets. One for expired meter and one or 2 for being parked on the wrong street on snow removal nights (don’t EVEN get me started on that….)

Anyways. So, I go from thinking “Ok. My car looks effed up, but it still drives. I can get it looked at when I have some money…” right to “Hey look! I have a fine for $300 in my hand! AND no license!”

Add to that the fact that I was unable to STOP tears from running down my face as I talked to the police officer. How lame and/or stereotypical can you get???? oi vey…

So. Being Friday afternoon, I was unable to make any progress on finding out much of anything about why my license was suspended or how to fix it. Enter: depressing facebook updates. I do figure out, tho, after a looooong time on the phone with many different people, not all of whom speak with understandable accents, that the speeding ticket I got in Ohio last year is playing a part in all of this.

So, I spend all weekend worrying about the fact that the speeding ticket is apparently unpaid- I knew I had sent them money, but it was in the form of a money order which I didn’t have the receipt to, which makes it virtually untraceable. Which has me worrying that now I will have to pay for the $300 fine AND the $100 + whatever-fees-have-been-tacked-on-for-it-not-being-paid-yet speeding ticket.
Not to mention the cost of getting the car fixed.

I stay home from work on Monday so I can go to the district magistrate’s office and get some things sorted out and apply for an emergency something-or-other that will hopefully let me drive to work and back every day. I’m somewhat hopeful at this point, because 2 people had told me about the emergency something-or-other and that was at least one less worry (How to get to work every day) So, my friend takes me there and they….are not very helpful at all. Essentially they scheduled a court date and informed me that there is no such thing as an emergency driving something-or-other and until I have my hearing, I’m essentially screwed. But they sure will try to schedule that hearing for as soon as they can…..

At this point, I’ve run the emotional Boston Marathon and am about as brain-dead as can be. Thankfully my friend is still thinking rationally and has me call the police barracks to ask them about the emergency driving thing. But all they do is confirm that my license is suspended and that there’s nothing I can do about it unless I talk to the district magistrate….heh. The good news was that I thought I was brain-dead. Talking to the police barracks confirmed that I wasn’t, cuz it sent me off on another lovely 5K run with no shoes over shards of dirty glass. And me without my tetnus shot.

But, there’s still things to be done. Like figure out how to fix my car, figure out if the Ohio ticket has been paid for, etc. So. I am able to get a hold of Ohio, who confirms cheerfully that of course the ticket is paid for and yes, my license was suspended but once I paid the ticket, the suspension was lifted and they sent me things saying so, duh. But apparently I never got the things, and apparently Ohio doesn’t communicate with Pennsylvania, so. They have re-sent the stuff in the mail. (They wouldn’t fax it. Oh no, that would’ve been too quick and painless.)

Right. Next I deal with insurance people who are surprising helpful and non-condescending. This could be because I basically started crying every 3 minutes while on the phone. I’m pretty sure she didn’t buy the “Damn allergies” story. heh. I have a $500 deductible (what does that MEAN? Does that mean I pay $500 and they pay the rest? Or they pay $500 and I pay the rest? Or what?? YES I have a college education. BUT LIBERAL ARTS DIDN”T TEACH ME THIS STUFF DAMNIT) and the appraiser person will get back to me within 24 hours.

Right. So. Things are looking up, sort of.

Until I go out to go to work this morning (no, I still don’t have a legal license, I guess. But at least I know that the suspension is technically invalid…) and MY CAR WON’T START.

Insert maniacal laughter here.

I turned around, went upstairs, took some ativan to calm my nerves and some seroquel to help me sleep and proceeded to zonk out for several hours. Without calling my work or the classroom I work in to let them know I’d not be in. And, having left my phone, keys, purse, everything in the car, I missed the school calling me asking where I was and if I was coming in.

So now, on top of being depressed about everything else, I also feel like a total asshole and acted so irresponsibly and unprofessional that it’s not even funny.

Oh, and my show that’s supposed to be up in Michelle’s as of last Sunday? Yeah. Still not ready yet.

But I did manage to make it to therapy today. And I’m borrowing a friend’s car to get to work tomorrow. And the insurance guy is gonna look at my car sometime in the afternoon. And I have 6 out of 15 photos matted and framed.

So.

So yeah, I’m ok. In that everything’s-relative kind of way. 🙂