cymbalta

Ok. Well. That was….weird. heh.

I felt like I was in a psychiatry parody cartoon or something, except, I think he was being serious. Not sure if it was genuine with a touch of cliche or cliche with a touch of genuine? lol. I dunno. It was ok.

He thinks I’m a free spirit. And that nursing might be too anal for me. lol. Thinks that I need to find something I’m more passionate about, cuz I don’t seem to really be passionate about nsg and no matter how good the intentions or how spoon fed the info is, if I’m not really in to it then I should do something else.he has a point In his opinion, he thinks it would possibly be really a confining, constraining thing for me. Which, depending on the job, could be. He thinks I need a “therapeutic kick in the ass” to get going. lol. By which he meant meds. Wasn’t happy, it seemed, about the lunesta and thought the wellbutrin prolly wasn’t right for me. Tho he didn’t tell me to dc the lunesta. Not that I have any anyways. But, as I and Dr H know, it’s not tx the depression. It’s just *something* to help me get some sleep. heh. Put me on Cymbalta. Not for sleep. He’s like “Yeah. It def makes about 40% of the people who take it nauseous the first few days…” Greaaaaaaat.

hehe. He asked why I didn’t have people in my life, (after we talked about me living alone with my cats) and I was like “I have a girlfriend!!” and he was like by “Girlfriend”, what do you mean?. *blinkblink* “Uhm….life partner?”

He asked if I had my thyroid out and I was like “yeah, I didn’t try to slit my neck or anything…” and he was like “Oh, I didn’t think you had. I was just thinking that the surgeon did a pretty damn good job. Almost as good as I would’ve done when I was a surgeon….” and I laughed and was like “Yeah, he did do a good job. And then he killed himself.” And he was like “Oh, well. I wouldn’t’ve done that. Too much ego.” He sure got that right…lol. Actually, maybe it was the endocrinologist who killed himself, not the surgeon? Don’t remember. That was another period of my life where no one told me anything, just dragged me from appt to appt and poked me and measured me and took my blood and made me drink iodine in orange juice. Good times, that. *rolls eyes*

I went in and got my eval from Bob first. Even tho Donna actually did them, lol. I got a wonderful eval. Yay 🙂 And then!!! As I was leaving my appt with pdoc, I ran into Diane and she was like “did you see Donna?” I nearly peed my pants! I ran back inside and ran around to the various offices til I found her and I gave her a giant, giant hug. She was already all teary-eyed, and talking to EmphysemablacklungqueenSandy. So I couldn’t talk, but I got to give her a hug and it made me smile big. And feel good. And it’s sunny. So. It was just so good to see her. She has a Boot aircast thing again, like last year. But can just use a cane and so is able to be mobile, which is wonderful. Gawd I miss her. Sooooooo frikking much.

So. Pdoc. As he was leading me out of the office he was like “Well, I still think you’re cute and a great worker…” lol. He was being himself. He said he’s noticed I’ve seemed sort of distant and shorter than usual, and lacking in my usual sense of humour lately. But that he thinks I’m a good worker. And I gave him the letterthing that J wrote up for him and he said he thinks that she really hit on alot of my good qualities (duh, she’s known me about 5 years longer than he has! heh.)

Hmm. What else. It was an interesting appt. And he dictated his Progress Note (not even an Eval or Consult. Just a Prog Note to have documentation and such) and he said he’d provide the meds, free of charge, since my insurance doesn’t cover it. And that he’d continue to follow me up for a while, free of charge, even if I wasn’t any longer working at the psych center. So.

I wonder if it will be weirdawkward to see him in the morning, since I work tonite. Heh. Oh well. I don’t think so. I dunno.

I feel a little better. Maybe just for having gone. And. Just. I dunno. I did apply for some jobs in the last few days. And AJ sent me some lovely emails that I need to reply to, and pdoc asked what the last fun thing I did with her was and I was like….”Actually, we had fun this weekend, fishbuying!” hehe. So. And. Maybe the new meds will work better. And I got to see Donna!!!! And he said lovely things about J and wasn’t mean or condescending or flippant with me. So.

So. Maybe.

I dunno…..