Birch Beer

What would happen if you actually allowed yourself to hear and feel the compassion?

What would happen if you allowed yourself to do good/nice things, if you allowed yourself to love your cats — just because that’s what you wanted?

*sigh*

I dunno. I would love them, and losing them would hurt even more….

My lungs feel like they’re filling with liquid. While my throat feels like it’s turning in to scratchy wool. Lovely.

I was all excited half the day, to come home and make the sweet potato fries that I bought the other day.

So I did.

But they were gross and taste like mushy pumpkin, not like sweet potato. Not to mention the fact that it hurts to swallow.

I had to drop by the psych dept today to hand in my time sheet. I didn’t realize that I’d get a paycheck as well. Why do we have school tomorrow if it is veteran’s day? Well, I don’t, since I don’t have Friday classes, but still.

Anyways. I hung out outside of J’s class for a minute til ppl were done talking with her then I went in and got a quick hug cuz. I just. Needed one. heh. *sigh* My email is acting up, too, and I can’t figure out who is actually getting what I’m sending. Because things that are bouncing back have, in fact, been delivered. But things that haven’t actually been delivered don’t seem to be bouncing back. Curiouser and curiouser.

I feel ucky. Guess I won’t go to the allies mtg tonite. *shrugs* It’s informal anyways.

I got a 19/20 on my last paper for Soc Psy, so that’s good. So far I’ve gotten two 18/20’s, one 20/20, and one 19/20. Yay me. The avg’s are generally 16-18ish. So. That’s good. Tho I asked her if I could recind the most recent one we handed in! It was the one on the my lai massacre. heh. She was like “Why…?” I just shrugged and told her she’d figure it out when she read it…. We have another one due on Monday.

I took a very long bath today. I need to get new bath suds soap stuff. Ijust used the body wash that I had, but the stuff that I don’t really like. But I don’t hate it. And I figured it was better than using the stuff that I really -do- like, since the stuff I do like happens to have the little beadie moisture bead things in it. They don’t really dissolve, so I figured that wouldn’t be the best for a bath environment. Lah. I didn’t want to get out. But I had to go to class, so I did.

I am so frigging COLD. UGH. And I don’t know yet if I’m getting assistance with heat this winter, so I’m so hesitant to even turn up the heat a smidgen.

I’m so tired of being so poor. I checked my bank account today.

I shouldn’t’ve.

I did pick up my wellbutrin finally. Haven’t taken it in a week, cuz I haven’t had it. But I finally found enough change to make a dollar AND I remembered to take it with me to the pharmacy. Go me. *sigh*

My stomach is queasy. I wonder if it’s from the yucky fries…

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November 10, 2005

I hope you get to feeling better soon. Throw an extra blanket or two on your bed. Mmmm. Snuggly.

RYN: I’m not sure. I think they’re the same thing. I just spell it with an “O” because that’s how the teacher corrected me when I was little and it’s always stuck with me.

((((hugs)))) It’s really very difficult for me to know you’re sick. It totally makes me want to pop over, bring you some of my homemade soup (I could whip up a veggie broth! 🙂 I make killer soup *g*) and take care of you. xxoo,

(although the chicken part of the broth is what’s “good” for sick people) (((((more hugs))))