Headaches and Annoyances

I’ve just noticed that I keep getting headaches in the evenings. I mean. It’s not unusual for me to get headaches, gawd knows, however. Generally they’re not patterned. At least, not in a pattern I can ever readily identify. But. For the last week or so (or more, perhaps?), I do think I’ve been getting them always in the evening. The other day I thought it was cuz of the whole anemia thing (damnit. Forgot ONCE AGAIN to get a multivitamin thing like my dr wants me to do….) But. I’ve prolly eaten better and healthier the last few days than I have in months- and if it were that, then why just in the evening and not all day? And I thought perhaps it was from my shoulders and neck being tense from carrying my heavy bag around all day during the first week of classes. But, AJ gave me many wonderful shoulder/back massages this weekend, and I’ve not carried my bag really since Thursday. Well, I carried it to work on Fri and Sat, but only from the car to the building and back, so I don’t know that that would be it. Tonite I thought p’raps my blood pressure is too high, but I just took it, twice, and although it’s difficult to take one’s own BP, it was pretty much the same both times- 118ish over 80ish, which is pretty normal for me. But it’s certainly not far enough out of my baseline range that it should cause headaches.

So. WHAT is with this?? P’raps it IS just tension? Even if I’m not carrying the bag, my shoulders end up around my ears 900 times an hour without me recognizing it. Ugh.

I’m wondering if it’s blood-sugar related, as often times it’s combined with dizziness/light-headedness. And hot flashes. Eheh.

I dunno. Maybe I DO have it all day, and I only just notice it in the evening when I finally get a chance to s.t.o.p for a few minutes!! *sigh*

Maybe it’s cycle-related, as my body decided once again on Sunday to practice at being a girl. boohiss. That’s like, twice in 4 months. What’s with THAT?? I was quite ok with the twice-a-year schedule I appeared to be on. lah. Dunno, dunno.

But it hurts right now.

So. First day of on-site Clinical was today. I was nearly late because…because my body has issues with being awake before 630am. Hell, my body has issues with being awake at 7…And, considering I need to get up at 6am in order to get a shower, etc…bleh. So today I had a difficult time dragging myself out of bed. Oh, could have something to do with the fact that I didn’t GO to bed til after midnite, too!! Went over and hung out with Em for a while, as she’s having some trouble with life. heh. Her sister keeps telling her that she needs to check herself in to a psych hospital and that she needs to lighten her course-load. Her mother keeps telling her that she’s not crazy, that she’s fine, and that she can handle everything…hello mixed messages!! Oi vey. So I took my books over to her place and we had tater tots and vegan pasta salad, then we talked for a bit, then we both finally studied some. So, yay for us. But, I didn’t leave her place til 11ish. So.

Anyways. Yes. On-site clinical. Oh my ever-loving-sweet-hayzeus. I was hoping that Cindy would be less annoying as a clinical instructor than she is as a nsg process instructor. I was WRONG. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Maybe she’ll be better once we’re on the floor and she’s not trying to explain a lot of things all at one time? Geesum. She gets sidetracked and confused and GIGGLES INCESSENTLY. I wanted to hit her over the head with my clipboard. Repeatedly. *sigh*

It IS nice and lovely, however, to have a 5 minute drive home after Clinical. At least on Tuesdays. On Wednesday I have to head right up to the other campus, cuz I have to help out with/sit in on Dr F’s gen psych class which starts at 2. (clinical’s over at 1)

Had therapy today. Talked a bit about AJ and I, or at least, how our weekend was. It was lovely. And calm. So, yay! I miss her. :o(

Talked more about Mindfulness. And the difference between it and Avoidance stuff. So that helped a little, to reconcile some of my doubts/frustrations/etc.

J commented at one point that I seemed to be half there and half gone today. And, I was. Cuz I was thinking of things I should have been talking about, but wasn’t. Maybe “should” is the wrong word. I just. Promised AJ that I’d try to discuss them with J. And, I definately need to. I don’t want it to get so huge that it really harms the relationship. And even tho I know we both are trying to be patient and understanding and things….*shrugs* It’s not something that I think will go away on its own, no matter how patient or understanding we are. And even if all of it were fine with AJ, it would eat at me no puns intended…. until I went crazy and totally shoved myself away from her. So. *sigh*

And. Can I say that none of anything was helped by me coming home and seeing an email from my sister to me and the rest of my siblings. Including Patrick. I feel gross just for knowing we both got the same message. How fucked up is that….

Gawd. I need to lay down and/or go to bed. My ears hurt and I’m so frikking warm I feel like I’m gonna chuck up the cheese sandwhich I just ate. Lovely.

I do need to do some reading for Social Psych. Eheh. And we were s’posed to have had a certain article read for class tomorrow…which I didn’t realize was due tomorrow. Or rather, I didn’t think about the fact that there was no skewl Monday and thus I needed to get the article last week….but, I will either be late to Dr F’s psych class or leave it early and go read the article in time for *my* psych class!

I DID start the paper that isn’t due til the 12th tho! Answered all the questions we needed to answer. Now I just have to make a coherent paper of them. And, like. A “doesn’t have to be more than two pages” paper….oi vey. I almost have more difficulty with those kinds of papers cuz I find myself ending up with 4 pages and having to do some serious editing. Oh well.

Will read the chapter due and then go to bed early. So I can be up and to clinical by 7am! Hoo-ray. *rolls eyes*