needs

i need to be in the shower right now, cuz i’m gonna be late for work if i don’t get ready. ‘cept after i hung up the phone with aj, i stood up to go to the shower and got dizzy enough that i nearly fell over. lovely. my ears hurt something fierce, and my head hurts but not like a headache necessarily? maybe sinus-y but it’s not in any of my sinus cavities. more like my temperomadibular joint or whatever it’s called. but the joint itself doesn’t hurt. there’s just kind of an ache behind it, kind of behind my temple. that goes away when i have my head a certain way, and gets worse when it’s another way (like upside down. ehehe. i know this cuz after i felt dizzy i sat and hung my head down to try and get those little black spots of impending blackout to go away. they did. but i noticed that that spot hurt more.)

it’s prolly just sinus-y, as i do feel a bit of post-nasal ickiness going on. so. hooray. allergies maybe. prolly. my eyes have been itchy for days. can’t take benedryl tho. sometimes it puts me to sleep, sometimes it doesn’t.

it seems that for the next few weeks, either I am working, or aj’s working. *sigh.scream*

i’m having a difficult time trying to stop myself from making myself apathetic. trying to stop myself from pushing. it’s just really difficult, esp. not knowing when i’ll see her again.

i need to get ready for work.

is it bad that i want to quit? alot? and just hide. and stay in bed. and not go to school. and not do anything.

but whatever.