Revenge of the Lawn

A day for all sorrows. All sorrows but mine…

Not really. But. I dunno. Today it was just Lean on Echo day. Which is fine and kewl and really ok. Except. The one person who I really wanted to lean on me….didn’t. And I can’t get a hold of her. And I think I’m headed into another downward spiral.

I got up this morning with full intentions of getting a great deal of homework and such done.

As I was checking mail and getting around for the day, Jenn msg’s me and says that the journal has been printed- a draft, at least – so I jump in the shower and head off to the caf to meet her. We have lunch and then go grab the journal. We edited a fair amount of it, and then Em and Marcus showed up. So we talked to them and then we all went outside to sit on the lizard rock and we chatted and looked at the journal and whatnot. heh. I saw L’s kid with his lil boxers showing and his skater friends hollering and hooting. Anyways. While sitting editing the journal, I had gone over and gottem some chai from the snack bar, and Crys happened to be working. I asked how she was and she said she wasn’t doing so great. So. I was like “What’s up??” And she said it was more of a “sit down at perkins for an hour” kind of a thing than something she could discuss right then. Fine, I said. When are you done with work? 9pm. Great. See you at 915, we’ll talk. So.

Anyways. So. I sat outside with Jenn and Em and Marcus, all of whom make me smile a great deal. But I was there longer than I thought I’d be. But oh well. I got home and was preparing to start working on stuff when Jay pops online. A RARE (as in, NEVER happens) occurence. So. I chatted with him. He was feeling down because no one who he wanted to hang out with was around to hang out with. So he asked if I’d have dinner with him. Sure, why not. So. He came over and we chatted for a while, and then went to EnP where we chatted for some more. Then he needed groceries, so we went to Wally World and I bought him food. It was 9pm before I got home.

So of course I get home and barely have time to pee before Crys calls. She picks me up and we went to EnP (yes, again) and talked for a while. She’s having all kinds of issues. Problems with this guy who, from what she described to me, is essentially molesting her. Issues with some benign cysts or some such thing, which she was handling ok, until her uncle’s fiance just died of ovarian cancer I think. And to top it all off, she’s been working on some project about self mutilation, and decided that it looked like a pretty good solution. ARGH. Thankfully tho, she said she tried it and said she’s too much of a wuss to do it any more. So. I’m thankful for that at least. And. It’s just. I dunno. It’s another one of those situations where she’s not talking to anyone about any of this, she’s dropped out of therapy pretty much…life’s just getting out of hand. And I have no solutions to offer her. I have no advice to give. I feel like there’s nothing I can do to help. Anyways. I just got home. At 1115pm. And of course, now I’m exhausted and have a hugeass headache. And am worried about her and Jay and Homie who I can’t get a hold of. And. *shrugs* I spent 20 minutes explaining the myriad of reasons why SI wasn’t a good solution to Crys. But I was just talking out my ass. It’s not a good solution. but it’s a solution.