Thirteen

Ugh.

I’ve been studying since about 4pm (it’s 830 now). Studying, at the moment, is using the study guide to go thru my notes and write down all the pertinant information. So far I have 13 pages, front and back. I’m on the last two diseases – acute and chronic pancreatitis, so I think I’ll have 15 when I’m done.

With the first half.

eheh. That’s right. I will have finished all of the material from Shelley. Then I will be able to start on all of the material from Cindy, who didn’t even give us a study guide. Not sure how that’s gonna go. I’ll probably just follow the format that I’ve been using – one disease per sheet. Description of disease, signs and symptoms, diagnostic tests used to diagnose it, assessment findings, complications, risk factors, treatments/nsg interventions, and, when I’ve found them – nsg diagnoses.

I work tonite, which means I’ll sleep half the day tomorrow. But I don’t work tomorrow night, so I can get up, study some, go back to bed and get up on Monday morning and study, hopefully finishing off gleaning all of the pertinant info. And then I work Monday night…cuz Donna was feeling pretty shitty the nite before last and suspected that by Sunday she wouldn’t be in a condition to work, and there were enough RN’s on the schedule that if I agreed to work for her, she could take the nite off. So I agreed. I know, I know. That means I work Monday night AND Tuesday night, with an exam on Wednesday morning. But the thing is, since I agreed to come in on Monday, Donna marked on the schedule that if anyone was to be called off on Monday or Tuesday, it would be ME. (There’s an RN who is just coming off orientation, that’s why the schedule is a tad more flexible at the moment…) So…it means there are 6 scheduled for both of those nites now. Which, unless Amy calls off, which she probably will, I will get called off.

Ugh. Amy is a bit of a sore subject right now. I’m kind of worried about her. She is *exhausted* every single night, to the point of even nodding off during report and whacking her head off the wall. But too, she’s exhausted to the point where, as I was going thru the charts the last two nites that I worked, they were *full* of things that she should have either done or things that were wrong that she should’ve picked up on. So. Something is up with her. Not to mention, she’s about to move in with a guy she’s barely been dating a month, with plans to marry before december….I dunno. She spent 10 years in a pretty unhealthy relationship. Then she spent several months seeing a married man. And now this. And, she said she’s going to apply to nursing school. *raises eyebrow* Not that I think that she isn’t capable. Indeed, I think she could manage it. However, she is forever telling me how glad she is that she’s graduated from college because she really didn’t like school, and she’s thought about going back several times, but just didn’t want to. And. Ok. I know that I don’t always have the best attitude in the world. But. I do have a very strong work ethic (tho it might not be apparent from the way I avoid studying. But I’ve determined that that’s more psychological than lazyness…) And that work ethic, I believe, is what pulls me thru sometimes. I suppose you could call it determination. Insomuchas someone running in front of a speeding train is determined to not get flattened by it, ya know? Kind of a forced determination? Sometimes. And, I admit, at the beginning of the semester, I was determined to succeed just to spite the instructors who were so negative and discouraging to me my first semester. However, Liz is seriously WAY better…she has had a major attitude change (ok, maybe we both have?)…but I haven’t YET heard her say “This is the way it’s always been done…” Which was her mantra, I swear to gawd. Now, she actually talks about how things are changing and even tho it’s difficult for her, she’s trying to change with them. And. Well, I don’t have to deal with Vicky anymore, so. And, I feel like I’ve got Angela rooting for me, which goes a very long way.

Uh. What was I babbling about? Oh. Amy going to nursing school. I dunno…it’s not easy. And. Just from what I know of her, which is admittedly not all that much….I dunno, ya know? She barely goes a week without calling off at least one night of work. So. I dunno how or if she could go to school, work, and commute. I tried that. It didn’t work out so well. Maybe whatever she’s going thru right now is responsible for her current attitude, and perhaps it’s transient. I certainly wish her no ill-will and I hope if she is accepted into the program that she succeeds.

But. If she calls off on Monday night, I’m gonna be one pissed off co-worker. I do believe she’s the cause for a new old policy going into effect….that we no longer can write on the schedule if we want called off or not, Donna or another sup. has to do it. (The way it had been was that you could write “Please call off” next to your name, and date it. Then if they had to call someone off, whenever able they would call that person off first) But. Other than the fact that Amy is consistently called off, there is rumour that she’s been backdating her requests as well, meaning other people who actually signed the schedule first, are getting the shaft. And that’s just not cool.

Ok. 9pm. Do I go back and study for 2 more hours, or do I try to lay down for a few hours….I know, I *should* study. But a little nap will make it much easier to get thru the night in a pleasant mood. And I will be the float tonite, which means probably no rest for the weary, the way the night’s’ve been going.

I really don’t mind being the float, especially since I *did* tech the last two nites that I worked. It’s just that being the float means, essentially, I work all nite. Unlike being a tech, where you’re chained to one unit…being a float means I run back and forth and all around, and it wears me out more.

So I think I’ll lay down for a little bit, and if I can’t sleep then I’ll get back up and study. I feel a little more confident now that I’m halfway thru the notes. Not that I am actually studying. Hell, some of this stuff it feels like I’m looking at it for the first time. But the exams are all multiple choice, and I am pretty good at weeding out the wrong answers. I hope. Eheh.

Oh. AND the reason I’ve agreed to work and stuff is cuz my bank account is dwindling, and I’ve been worried about how to survive the next few months, since I’m only scheduled to work for TWO days in April, which won’t pay the bills….especially since one of my car insurance installments comes due in April. And I just remembered that pretty soon I should be getting my tax refund. Which will carry me through, pending any unfortunate events. That makes me feel a little better too. Wee.