Push

Gawd therapy was rough today. Ugh. And I’d been doing so well, too. *sigh*

bleh. The highlights:

-looked at the giant newsprint poetry thing that I did in poetry class last week

-stared at the wall

-long hugs

-lotion on hands

-silence

ended with me curled up on the couch wishing i could be swept under it. j had class and i didn’t want to really stay past her leaving but on the other hand i didn’t want to leave the safety that her office offers. so i did, for about 15 or 20 minutes and then I folded her ultra-soft pink blanket and turned off the stereo and left.

i just want to curl up in bed right now, but i have too much work to do. pharmacy homework, my care-map and drug sheet for clinical, write a poem for class tomorrow, and do the readings for Nsg Process. Cuz I’m completely in the mood to learn about cleft lips, pyloric stenosis and phenylketonuria. *sigh*

she said I don’t know if I’ve ever been good enough, well I’m a little bit rusty and I think my head is caving in. And I don’t know if I’ve ever been really loved by a hand that’s touched me and I feel like something’s gonna give and I’m a little bit angry….she said I don’t know why you ever would lie to me. Like I’m a little untrusting when I think the truth is gonna hurt ya…just wait a minute here, it kinda fell apart. things get so crazy, crazy… mb20