Nine

I’ve been so busy today, it didn’t dawn on me until halfway through the day that today is the anniversary of Dad’s death.

A small part of me thinks it’s morbid to remember such a fact every year, to actively acknowledge it. However, it’s the whole reason I started this diary, and I feel that it does me well to look back over how far I’ve come since that day. Some years are harder than others. This year seems to not be so hard. Probably because I have so many distractions going on with this horrid work situation. But even in the days leading up to it, I wasn’t really sad. I’m remembering all the good things about him, and realizing that I’m a lot like him – and I’m very proud of that. My dad was a pretty easy-going guy. But when someone wronged him, he didn’t sit by and quietly take it. Nor did he complain about it relentlessly and not do anything to change it. He took action. And that’s exactly what I’m doing. It’s weird, but it almost feels like he’s with me right now, guiding me and helping me through this situation. I feel closer to him than I have in a long time, and it makes me very happy.

As always, Daddy, I love you and I miss you very much. But I’m finally starting to see that you had to go in order to help shape me into the strong woman I am today. I don’t have to like it, but I can see God’s will in that.

Rest In Peace
L.E.S.
06/15/38-02/25/00