Lose It

The weight, that is. Doctor’s orders.

After barely making it to my appointment on time, I waited about 20 minutes to see my doctor. We talked, and he said that he’s confident that my weight is what’s keeping me from ovulating. He wants me to lose weight pronto, and his office sells a diet plan, probably similar to Slim Fast or something. He was talking pretty fast, and I know he’s told me the name before, but I can’t remember. Metabo-something. I’m supposed to go back next Tuesday to learn more and purchase stuff. We’ll see about that. It’s expensive, and of course my insurance doesn’t cover it. The doctor also took some blood, and is sending me to get a pelvic sonogram tomorrow to rule out ovarian cysts. He said that if weight loss doesn’t help, there’s some meds we can try to help me ovulate, but we’ll talk about that when the time comes.

When I told Stan about this, his immediate reaction was not what I was hoping. In fact, it seemed like he didn’t think I would be able to do it. That hurt me more than I thought it would. He said that it’s not that he doesn’t believe in me, but he knows it’s going to be hard, and it’s going to take time. I know he’s eager to have a baby TOMORROW, but it doesn’t work that way. He was asking about other options, like he didn’t seem to understand that even if it isn’t weight related, I DO still need to lose the weight. For my general health, and for the health of the baby, when there is one. I’m still a little down about the way he reacted. He apologized, and said he’ll support and encourage me, but when your own husband doesn’t think you can be determined enough to lose weight, it’s a sad day. Granted, he probably knows me better than anyone, but this is for a baby. Something I want as much as he does. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, it will be frustrating. Yes, I’ll probably slip up. Yes, it will take time. But I WILL do it. I told him that while I’m not going to force him, it would be nice if he did this along side me. I think the exercisng part he’ll do with me. Changing his eating habits is another story. *sigh*

So after the appointment, I went to Wal-Mart and got some healthier food options. Yummy salad mixes, healthier snacks, flavored water. And I’m finally going to get back into Wii Fit tonight. In fact, it will probably help with my mood. Writing all this out makes me sad and I feel a little hopeless, but I refuse to give into those feelings. I have a long road ahead, but baby steps is the key, I think.

Alright. Time to throw some laundry in the washer and get started with Wii Fit again. My sonogram is tomorrow at 4:00.