General Knowledge
Things that people should know.
And yet for some reason they just don’t…
1. When you get off an escalator, particularly a busy one on the London Underground, you need to walk briskly. Even if you don’t know where you’re going: choose a direction and walk briskly that way. The nature of escalators means that there are people behind you heading straight for the spot where you are standing, staring around vaguely. And if you carry on blinking and standing on the spot, there’ll be a horrible pile-up.
2. If you are trying to write on something with a biro, and you need to use a wall to lean on, make sure that the end of the biro is above the nib. I know that this doesn’t reflect very well on me, but I literally become incandescent with frustration every time I see someone go, "Here – I’ll give you his name. I’ll just… oh! The pen doesn’t work!" And sure enough, the pen wrote the first few letters, but not the rest. And the person will then shake it, and stare at the nib disconsolately, and I want to shout, "That happens every time, unless you keep the pen the right way up! You’re nearly thirty! Did you just think it was a coincidence that perfectly good pens gave up the ghost every time you leant against a wall?"
3. If you are about to sneeze, you can press your finger, lengthways, against your top lip. This will stop it happening. I have no idea why. But whenever I pass on this particular pearl of wisdom to people around me, they don’t exactly look happy. They look suspicious.
4. Those spoons in the sink where I work – the ones that look as though they’re irreparably stained with tannin and grot from the incessant cups of tea we all drink? They’re not stained, you just have to scrub at them really, really hard to get those funny tea marks off, and make them sparkle. (Oh, hang on, you did know that… you just can’t be bothered. Fair enough. Me neither.)
5. One word: reboot. In fact, five words: reboot before you call IT. Otherwise, it’ll all end in tears. I’m not a computer genius. I just know how to switch my laptop off and then on again before I hassle our long-suffering geeky friends.
If I ruled the world, everyone would have to learn these things (and a few other basic life lessons, but I’d teach these ones first). I realise that they don’t reflect well on me. I realise that I am turning into a grumpy old woman before my time. But I am continually astonished by people’s inability to learn from the world around them. "Oh! I’m late – again!" they gasp, as though they were feathers borne on the wind with no control over where they were going, and when they arrived, rather than functioning adults with travelcards, and a reasonable knowledge of journey times in central London.
Forgive me. I’ve had a bit of an irritating day at work. But I did promise an update to Beaker UK, in order to aid her procrastination … (and I do keep my promises)
with love,
therumtum-grumpy-tugger
xxxx
AH! I know exactly what you mean, heh. Why are dumb people allowed to breed?!
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damn, so that’s why my biros never work? i had absolutely no idea at all…….!
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I like point number 1. It kind of goes with my other frustrations with the Underground. One of which seems to be any foreign Asian male assuming I speak their language. I have a tenuous grasp of Tamil and I don’t know any other Indian languages yet the lost and non-English speaking seem to think I do (kind of logical given my skin colour but not given my accent!). I didn’t know about point no.3 and I’m not looking suspiciously at you. RYN: Thanks for the feedback on the female fashion market. I can just imagine when giving my presentation how I’m going to quote all of your input, “Well, I had an informal online focus group, and this woman from London called ‘the rumtumtugger reckons you should improve your website.’ Anyway, I hope you have been able to relax after your irritating day at work.
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RYN: As well as efficient supply chains, I think another reason why clothing has become so cheap is because of the abolishment of the multi-fibre agreement and our friends in China participating in the world economy. The only downside with this is the poor labour protection. My grandma in Sri Lanka is looked after by a friend of my mum’s. My mum’s friend is a union leader in Sri Lanka and hisunion represents people working in textile factories. All of a sudden the demands of unions in the UK and Europe look weak in comparison to some of the fair demands that are asked for abroad (e.g. non-compulsory overtime!)
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Biro? I’m assuming that’s you funny-people-across-the-big-waters-word for a nice, normal, fountain pen?? *LOL* Yes, I’d think I’d look suspiciously at a person who told me that pressing my finger on my upper lip stops me from sneezing too, esp. if that person is known for getting people into odd situations, taking pictures, and running off laughing their head off. You aren’t one of THOSE types, are you?? AMEN to rebooting! Rebooting is good, rebooting is wonderful, rebooting cures all ills that aren’t caused by you clicking on that naughty link that said ‘I love you long time!’ Yes. I’m perky this afternoon. 😉
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I think your biro knowledge should be printed on posters and said posters should be put up EVERYWHERE. In fact, the biro info should be written ON the biros. And walls. And everywhere. I’m glad I’m not the only one who gets annoyed at that sort of thing. Also, I want to need to sneeze now, just so I can do the finger/lip thing. I’m suitably impressed. xxxxx
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I didn’t know 3 and will definitely be trying that next time I feel a sneeze coming on. As for number 4, if I didn’t know better, I’d wonder if you worked where I did!
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I don’t think that would have helped the sneezing fits I was having tonight!! But I did know that pearl of wisdom already 😉
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People look suspicious at 3 because they look like they’re doing Hitler impressions if they do that 😉
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This has certainly helped stave off the work for a bit, thank you!!! 🙂 OH YES at the people at the bottom of escalators, darn it some people are just too stupid!! I am coming to the conclusion that I need to keep an electric cattle prod with me at all times to educate those around me. I had heard about that sneeze thing, but have never tried it, because in a weird way I kind of like sneezing.
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you go girl!
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I love this list, especially the first one, so true!
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bit of a rant, but I like it. do you “with love” every entry? that’s nice. and I’m glad you liked my little bio. another noter thought it was completely random babbling.
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General Knowledge, fairly decent, but that Colonel Mustard, what he did, in the library, with that candlestick. Oooh, I can’t even think about it.
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thanks for the note. I’m a little slow at responding these days. 😉 I have problems with our IT department at my work too, but with our network, it seems like rebooting always makes the problem worse. 😉
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People who stop at the bottom of escalators deserve to be squashed 🙂
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I didn’t know you were a hitcher!!!! who are you? Yes, it was me, see latest entry.
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RYN – RE FLowers entry…. seeing you are one of the writers here at OD that I really admire, your note meant a lot to me. I could write a lot more, but the truth of the matter is that Im thrilled that you liked what I wrote.
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Hell yeah!
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