Crying

Just as I was getting very used to the idea that my body was undergoing massive changes and that I would actually have to give birth at some point in the very near future and that we’d be broke for what would feel like forever…

I started bleeding yesterday morning and it’s not stopped. I’m terrified and spent most of yesterday lying on the sofa crying. I have a scan at the early pregnancy unit at lunchtime today to see if there is still a chance. I’m trying to be realistic and then have optimistic moments. My aunt had three ‘periods’ during her pregnancy with my cousin and he was fine and my mum said her miscarriage at 11 weeks was over in 12 hours, so maybe there is hope. I just don’t feel wildly optimistic. In fact, I feel like an utter failure for not being able to do this right now. Plus I don’t think I can face telling our friends after we’ve just told them the happy news.

Anyway, fingers crossed and all. Will let you know.

Until there is a next time…

xx

*update* I have lost the baby. I can’t begin to describe how I feel right now.