Archives of pain

‘no regrets and no surprises’ Radiohead – No surprises

I thought that when I left work there would be this huge lifting of a weight from my shoulders, that the relief to know that I don’t have to go back on Tuesday morning and that I don’t have to work a 10 hour shift or a saturday is now my choice. So it came as quite a surprise to feel a little bit sad to leave there. I guess because I figured I’d leave and a few people would say they’d miss me and that would be it. I didn’t expect flowers, wine, money, gift vouchers and a watch from the various people that I have worked with. Mind you, when I think about it, I spent longer temping at that place than I did in any permanent job I’ve ever had!

But I have left and it is with a small amount of trepidation that I look forward to Tuesday morning and my new job. Nothing major, just the usual ‘first day, making new friends’ nerves.

I’ve sat two of my three exams as well this week. The first, on Monday, was Pure Maths. I have never sat an exam that quite the effect on me that that one did. I was shaking for about an hour afterwards. I know I did so badly. It doesn’t matter that everyone said ‘oh, but you always think you’ve done bad and you haven’t’, but I think only managing to answer about a third of the paper, and not even being sure that those answers were 100% – I think that means I did pretty badly. However, I flew through the stats paper and answer all but 2 small parts (worth 3 marks between them) which didn’t make any sense. So, with a good mark there and a better mark on the last exam, it should make up for the shocking first one.

We went out on Thursday night to the quayside, as a few of the team managers were up from London. The quayside bars are always so damn expensive, but this time the managers paid for everything, so it was a very cheap night. It was supposed to be my leaving celebration, but I ended up not very drunk and leaving at 11. I feel old sometimes, especially when I go out. I get up at 6 every morning and can’t function on anything less than 7-8 hours sleep, which makes for some pretty early nights. I’ve gotten into this habit now and will probably continue it when I start the new job on Tuesday. I’m supposed to be out again tonight, but to be honest I just can’t be arsed. I’d much rather curl up and work my way through the new books I have recently acquired. We watched the BBC’s ‘big read’ last week, and I was impressed to find that we had a quarter of the books, and that I’d read the longest book in the list (A suitable boy by vikram seth, which was fantastic). Since then I have been out and added to the collection and have come up with a list of many more books that I really want. I guess the £50 I got from my team managers will go some way to sorting out that problem! So for today I am going to enjoy the peace and quiet (Duncan is working all day) and work my way through Mil Millington’s hilarious ‘things me and my girlfriend have argued about’ If you’ve seen the site, it is mostly based on that, but written as a novel. However, I’m going to start my reading with your diaries!

Until there is a next time…

xx