Roses in the hospital

‘world serves its own needs, dummy serve your own needs’ REM – It’s the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine)

I don’t really know what to say exactly. My eyes and ears have been assaulted again and again with images and sounds, comments and soundbites. My heart feels numb watching the rescue workers pick through the rubble and listening to Blair and Europe promise their full support to America and it’s actions. There is much I want to say, much that will probably upset some people (not necessarily the regular readers of this diary, but others that may come across it) and now is not the time for that. Now is only the time for hoping, against hope that there are more survivors who can be reached in time.

But for now, I shall go back to my life, the mundane trivialities that will see us through this, because if you let yourself wallow, hate and demand war then you let them win, you breed more hate, which merely breeds more hate, the cycle continues and more innocents die.

I came close to crashing my car last night. Some moron decided to move into the right hand lane, but clearly hadn’t bothered to think that another car might be on the road. I had to brake and swerve sharply, and what made it feel worse was the fact that the road was slippery from rain and my car skidded towards another, 3rd car. Did the first one stop? No, he just drove on, oblivious and the passenger looked very confused when I blasted my horn at them in outrage. I was shaking by the time I got home and took a while to calm down. For a split second I was convinced a three car pile-up was about to occur.

Duncan is supposed to be going away this weekend. He’s supposed to be off to some one-day festival in Glasgow. Despite the fact that I will miss him like crazy, and probably be unable to sleep for the two nights, I was also kind of looking forward to it. I was looking forward to a weekend on my own, watching football and movies that make me cry & eating junk food. But it may well be cancelled now as three of the bands (including the headliners) are currently in the USA with no immediate way of getting out. Already one date has been cancelled and we find out the decision on the rest today.

We tried to have an evening where we could try and forget what had happened. Maybe forget is the wrong word, but I spend 8 hours a day being assaulted with these images and it just feels kind of morbid to watch the same scenes again and again. We tried to find something else on, but failed and settled for flicking through the music channels. I got to listen to the Bob the Builder single (which I found hysterically funny) and what I presume was the new Right Said Fred single, which should see them tried for crimes against music.

It was nice to start getting back to some normality and forget the current threat of swift retribution which would drag many more countries into a war that can’t necessarily be won.

Until there is a next time…

xx