Now this is what I call an update!!

I have two best friends in this world, H and M. M obviously lives close and I see him a bunch. H….she’s a different story. H lives in London. I met her through a friend of mine she had met while he was backpacking thru Europe. I went to visit one year and we’ve been friends ever since. She knows me better than I know myself. She can read me like a book and makes sure I know it. I love her for it.

H has AML, acute myelogenous leukemia. It took me a long time to accept that she was really sick. She’s been anemic since I’ve known her, but leukemia? I just couldn’t fathom it. I know what leukemia does to people, I saw it damn near every day when I worked at the hospital. H can’t have that disease, she’s too full of life, has too much spark. I’ve accepted it now, as hard as it was, and try to give her all the support I can. It’s hard 5000 miles away but we make it work.

She’s been in the hospital for the past 2 months or so. She went thru a kidney problem and a bone marrow transplant while she was there. It killed me to not be there. I cursed being stuck here in Cali while she was suffering in a hospital. I hated my job that I had to go to everyday instead of being with her. I cried more than I even care to admit (even to M) because I knew that she was in pain and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do. H has grown to be a sister to me, her family has basically adopted me, and I can’t be there for her.

I feel like the worst best friend ever.

I know I’m not….I know it’s in my head….I just can’t get my heart to agree.

M and I were a little rocky after we got back from Bonnaroo. We’re better now. It took a little while and a lot of yelling and a bunch of tears on my end but it got worked out.

See…we were all tired and a little cranky after the red-eye flight from Cali to Atlanta and we were driving the RV to Tennessee when I made the mistake of asking R if she was ok. The answer I got? “I hate all of you equally right now.” Well ok then. So I proceeded to ignore her for the rest of the trip. I was polite but I stayed out of her way. And, of course, staying out of her way means staying out of Ms way.

I had a good time at Roo, so did M and R and A (Ms friend that went with us who I got along with wonderfully all weekend). We just couldn’t have the good time together. A and I went to shows together while M and R went to other shows together. The only shows we all saw were DMB, Allman Bros, Alison Krause, part of Particle, Trey, Gov’t Mule and the last night of Widespread Panic. Now that may sound like a lot but compare it to the rest of the bands that A and I went to….OAR, Keller Williams, Karl Denson, de la Soul, DJ Krush, The Word and Modest Mouse. There are a few others that I *think* I saw but was not sober enough to remember. It sucked that I went to this big festival with one of my best friends and I didn’t get to enjoy the time with him. It would have been nice if we would have been able to enjoy it together.

I also saw some East coast friends there which was great. It was nice because they ended up parking their RV behind ours and it was completely unplanned. S called when she got there and asked what spot I was in. When I told her she laughed and said she was right behind us. I was glad because A and I were hanging out with them a good portion of the weekend. Saturday night we finally got back to the site about 5 am and S and her husband were still up. We sat there talking and watched the sun come up. That’s the way you need to do Roo. Get back from 15 hours of the greatest music and sit up with friends talking and watching the sun rise.

I can’t wait to do it next year.

Soulshine….this is for you…John Butler Trio is coming to the Midwest (Chicago, Milwaukee, Indy) RUN to go see them. Now….right now.

I can not say enough good things about this band. I saw them open both LA DMB shows and went to an instore they did in Hollywood Sunday. Wow. I was impressed. They are so damn good. I met them after the opener on Sunday, great guys.

So I’ll leave you with the lyrics of one of my favs by them…Betterman 🙂

Betterman I am since I
Come into contact with you
And you taught so many things about myself
and you know this is true
but now we are apart and its all my fault
cos you know I need to be alone
Don’t know myself
so how can I share me with you girl or anyon e

Don’t want to be a thorn in your side
good woman
Always be the one
to make you cry
Don’t wanna be that guy
Good woman
cos you deserve everything
and I got nothing so leave me
and i’ll go away better off I stay
Far from you,
because you are beautiful

BEAUTIFUL WOMAN

Now typical man
I am because you think
I want my cake and eat it too
Cos say I can’t be in a relationship
but I still feel for you
Cos you are the best woman
This old man has ever met
You taught me about my soul
you shared with me your magic

Don’t want to be a thorn in your side
good woman
Always be the one
to make you cry
Don’t wanna be that guy
Good woman
cos you deserve everything
and I got nothing so leave me
and i’ll go away better off I stay
Far from you,
because you are beautiful

Betterman I am since I
Come into contact with you
And you taught
so many things about myself
and you know this is true
but now we are apart and its all my fault
cos you know I need to be alone
Don’t know myself
so how can I share me with you girl
or anyone
Cause you are

BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL WOMAN…
BETTER MAN I AM COS OF YOU…

{{{Hugz}}}