12/1/04

So yesterday was the first day since I’ve been in California that I haven’t talked to M. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be….but I had one of the girls with me all day so I’m sure that helped. Today is gonna be a whole different story. The 2 roommates home are the two I would not prefer to be here with all day….lovely.

M did call yesterday while on lunch but I wasn’t around. I got an email from him this morning telling me he just wanted to hear my voice and have me tell him everything is gonna be ok. I felt really, really bad that I wasn’t home. So hopefully he calls again today cuz I know I’ll be here.

I guess after spending all of Thanksgiving weekend together, I kinda miss him. I mean, all day Wednesday, all night Thursday, all day Friday, all night Saturday (yes, I stayed the night…again!), and most of Sunday. I got use to being around him. He really got to know all of my quirks in that time and I learned his.

The bad part of all this is I’m learning to build up bad feelings toward R. I’m mad and jealous that she gets to be with him all the time and I don’t think she appreciates it. It bothers me that she can make him feel so shitty…I’ve seen it with my own eyes and he doesn’t deserve it.

I’ve learned that R and I just put up with each other for M’s sake. She’s not the type of person I would be friends with in any other circumstance. She can be cold and rude and bitchy and condescending….not my type at all. She also has this issue with being nice to your face then turning around and making comments to someone else about you. Definitely not my type. If you don’t like me, tell me to my face that way we can deal with it and move on.

And I’m gonna shut up about this right now cuz it’s getting me all worked up.

Who would have imagined that finding a job in LA would be so damn difficult. I’m STILL looking….ugh. I really do hate job hunting. Such a pain in the ass.

Off to look for more work….wish me luck!

{{{Hugz}}}
PG