A Draft

Okay, so our groomsmen managed to get the Friday before the wedding off of work. Thank Fuck. Maybe it was my "… so are you in the wedding or what?" text message I forced Shannon to send last night? 🙂 

I’m still pissed off about my dad’s sister showing up to my bridal shower. I guess my grandma called Shannon’s mom (who was throwing the shower) and said that her hips were bad and that she needed my aunt to come with her. So Shannon’s mom didn’t know any better and said that would be okay. But then my grandma apparently got sick and couldn’t come to the shower…. so my aunt showed up anyway!!!! My mom was livid… she hates this woman and has been divorced from her brother for like 24 years…. and I fucking hate her too. She is such a manipulative bitch. And she ran back and told my dad everything including that I lost a bunch of weight and that I was on a new medication for my diabetes…. and my dad is literally a schizophrenic, so he’s fucking crazy… and then on top of that he’s also a raging alcoholic so he calls me at like 2:00pm (but I’m at work, because you know, I work for a living) and he leaves this like 20 minute message on my voicemail going on and on about how my doctor is a quack and I might think I’ve found the cure to diabetes but I haven’t and blah blah blah 1934 Dr. Banting…..

I wish I was kidding.

Fuck me.

I’ve drafted a letter… but I’m not sure if I should send it or not. Too bitchy?

Hi Grandpa,

I just received a 20 minute phone message from my dad telling me that my doctors are quacks and that I haven’t found the cure for diabetes etc etc etc. He is obviously very drunk and is talking complete nonsense that has nothing to do with me. He is obviously very misinformed, most likely by Bonnie who somehow ended up at my bridal shower this weekend.

Can you please ask him to refrain from calling me with these drunken rants? They are upsetting to me, and they are disturbing to my life.

I really love you and grandma and I want to continue to be in your lives and have you be in mine, but I’m not interested in having my business sent from here to Mexico via my Aunt, who seems to have to be involved in everything, and my dad who obviously has a wealth of unsolved issues including a major addiction to alcohol.

I have tried to just "grin and bare" it for awhile now, as I have not wanted to hurt anyone’s feelings but the phone call tonight is just the straw that broke the camel’s back!

The medication I am on is called "Victoza". It is a prescription. It is an alternative to insulin. I am unsure as to how taking this medication makes my doctor a quack, but it seems to be working and it doesn’t have the weight gaining properties that insulin does so I have been able to keep my weight off. It is hardly a "cure" for diabetes.

I am really unclear as to how my dad managed to get information regarding my weight and medication within 3 days, or why it really matters. If I had wanted him to know, I probably would have told him.

I really missed grandma at the shower this past weekend, but understand she wasn’t feeling well. Thank her very much for our comfy sheet set!!! I hope you both can attend the wedding in June, as everyone would be delighted to have you there!!! You will always be my grandparents, despite how the relationship between my dad and I is or will be.

I need to address the elephant in the room and state that I will not be inviting my dad or Aunt Bonnie to the wedding as it would make myself and other family members uncomfortable. I hope this does not cause any hurt feelings. However, with that said – EVERYONE has agreed that they would love to have you there. There are two spaces with your names on them at the parent/grandparent table, should you wish to attend.

I feel much better having got this off my chest.  

Love both of you, always

Melissa (and Shannon) xoxo

Eh? Be honest. I don’t know what to do. I want a relationship with my grandparents, but not my crazy dad or his manipulative sister.