Day One

Hi everyone. It’s been months since I’ve written. My life is just busy, but not really exciting and I’ve lost the zest for writing for pleasure.

I was originally going to post my enegagement pics, but I think they’re on my laptop, so I’ll have to get them later.

The biggest thing in my life right now is this crazy diet I’m on. I was referred by my doctor to this program at one of the hospitals. It’s a non-profit program, and most of it ($15,000) is covered by OHIP (public health care) but I had to pay $3000 out of pocket. I took out a loan though, and Shannon co-signed for me…

For the last week I’ve had to keep a 1200 calorie diet. That wasn’t challenging at all, since I do actually eat fiarly well.

But for the next 12 weeks, all we can "eat" are these shakes. They have 100% nutrition and they prevent us from losing muscle mass.

Still, Day 1 of the shakes and I don’t know what to think.

I mean, I can do it…. no biggie, but I hope to hell it WORKS.

Since becoming diabetic, NOTHING works. I’ve joined Weight Watchers over 20 times. It used to work for me without an issue, and then I went on insulin and suddenly NOTHING. I could diet and exercise all I wanted, but I wasn’t going to lose any weight. Or at least a very small amount over a long period of time. Not very motivating.

So, I won’t get Christmas dinner. It’s Shannon’s birthday today and I won’t be able to treat him to dinner (I did a couple weeks ago, instead)… there’s a party this weekend and I can’t eat cake or wings and I can’t drink alcohol.

BUT, I go off the shakes on January 27th…. and my birthday is the 29th. My 25th birthday to be exact! I’m not sure how I’ll deal with that…. I want to party like crazy, but I also don’t want to gain ANY weight back. I guess I can talk to the behaviouralist about that. I mean, I deserve a special dinner and a few drinks on my 25th, no?

So… we’ll see how this goes. So far I’ve had my first of four shakes today. I’m not really hungry although I’m craving cottage cheese and dill pickles. Which are two things I usually eat non-stop. Non-fattening things, but solid food nonetheless.

Anyway, my goal will be to write more and update my progress.

Thanks for listening.

<3 Melissa