Shitty Week

Hey. How is everyone? My life is sucking as of late. We went and looked at THE PERFECT wedding venue on Sunday, and we want to put down a deposit this week to save our date and location. The deposit is about $1000. I asked my stepdad if he wanted to contribute half, and of course he turned into the asshole I’ve always known and said that
A) He didn’t have any money, which is a fucking lie.
B) If I had $500 it should be going on my student loan – I don’t have $500, I would have to use my visa.
C) He couldn’t believe I wanted to start a marriage with so much debt. Um, I have $30,000 worth of student debt… am I suppose to wait and get married at 50?

I mean, when I announced the engagement he seemed happy and supportive. He even told his family members… and now he states to my mother: “I am NOT paying for her wedding!”… hold your fucking horses here, Garnet. I asked if you wanted to contribute half to my deposit, not shell out $15,000 for the entire wedding.

Not to mention that by refusing me any help, it forces me further into debt because I have to use my credit card.

I can’t pay $30,000 off in the next 5 years, so waiting until I am debt free is out of the question.

Shannon’s sperm is only guarunteed for 17 years. 10 years have passed. If we get married in 2 years, have a baby in 4 years, and a second child in 6 years, we should be set. He doesn’t pay money to the fertility clinic every year for nothing. What? You want me to just randomly have children with people I’m not married to? Fine, but don’t come crying to me when it happens, Mr. Old Fashioned.

He also suggested that I should ask my dad and his parents. Uh, you told me years ago when you encouraged me to ditch my dad that “we don’t need their money”. Also, I don’t even want to INVITE my dad, let alone ask for his financial help. I’m sure my grandparents will pitch in, but it’s not their job.

He is such a cheap fucking cunt. I can’t stand him. One minute he is my best friend and the next he is a complete asshole.

Oh, and if that isn’t bad enough: my shrink thinks I have borderline personality disorder. At first I thought she was on crack, but now that I’ve done some research I can believe it. Blah… maybe now I can be on the proper medication and not feel like I’m on a rollercoaster all the damn time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gah, life is shitty this week. My hours at work are cut IN HALF for the summer. I was barely making ends meet before and now I don’t even know how I will do it… I’m still working with the two developmentally delayed girls on the side and I’m also going to be watching my friend’s 2.5 year old for her to make some extra cash. I just can’t fucking believe that I have a college AND university education and I’m forced to baby-sit in order to pay my rent.

Fuck, I need to finish school. 1.5 more credits. Goddamn.

Also, today the place where Shannon bought my ring called and it’s going to take until July for them to re-size it because they have to order a special thing or something…. I didn’t think turning a size 5 into a 7.5 was such a fucking big deal…

Anyway, just more to be depressed about. Gah. I hate my life right now!