Whatevs.

Today is hard.

A couple of my friends asked me how I’m doing. I don’t know what to say.

I’m alive, but I’m not ok. I’m doing what I need to do to get through the day. I live off Coffee and Wine. I haven’t eaten in days.

My mom told me I look like I’ve lost weight.

My Bestie has begun emailing me inspirational quotes. lol. The most recent said: "Someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing…” – Elizabeth Gilbert.

Blah. The hope and inspiration from last night is gone.

I decided not to leave my office today.

I can’t handle anyone else asking me if I’m ok. -_-

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June 25, 2013

Ryn: No problem. Break ups are hard enough without social media craziness. Too bad you can’t put a block on unwanted live interaction. I remember wanting to scream at people to leave me alone after my last bad break up. Do try to eat something. Take that bestie of yours out and eat while you slag off this looser you are way too good for. 😉

No it wasn’t a date, just was hanging out with a girl that I do care about, despite my actions saying otherwise.

June 25, 2013

Awwwwwwwwwww, Carrie!! Okay, no more asking how are you doing?? I know what you are going through is tough, but you got to eat something. You can’t just not eat something. It is not good for your stomach to thirve on coffee and wine. You gotta do that much at least. Please??? Awwwww… your bestie is soo sweet!! Yay for having besties who really do care about your happiness..

June 25, 2013

RYN: I completely know the feeling all to well, my friend. 🙂 I sound really perky in my notes and when I talk on the phone, but lately things have been really tough on me as well, and I have so many of those days where I just lay in bed, and have that kind of blah days. We are all entitled to having that, and what you are going through.. it is hard to put one foot in front of the other..

June 25, 2013

.. But can I say that at least for what it’s worth, I think you are really brave?? And when you leave me notes, you are just push through yourself being sad/upset/etc, and really just being you as your normally are. Hang in there, my friend.. One day, all of this will be in the past and when it is, we’ll sit and laugh and all.

June 25, 2013

.. And listen, if you do need someone to talk with, vent out, etc., I really don’t sleep well at night either. And I am not doing anything throughout the day, as long as you feel comfortable with me, leave me a note, and we can definitely talk on the phone, Facebook, email, texting. Or leaving a million notes!! :). Or Yahoo Messenger – whatever medium is easy for you and most comfortable.

June 25, 2013

.. But just know that I do want things to get better for you, and like your mom and bestie, I do genuinely hope that you take care of yourself and the rest will follow in suit. I love to talk with you, but I don’t wanna push you to doing something you don’t feel comfortable with. 🙂 Hope things, especially your day, gets better!!! 🙂 Neil

June 25, 2013

Hey there, Carrie! 🙂 Just wanted to check on you and hope that you are doing good!! 🙂 I’m up, so if you need a friend to listen to, talk with, I’m here for you, kid!

June 26, 2013

Hey, good afternoon, Carrie! 🙂 I hadn’t heard from you all day. Of course, I know that you have this really high pressure job (plus, writing your column!!!, lol), so that could be the reason. But, just know that you have been in my thoughts the whole day and I hope you are doing okay. Well better than okay. 🙂 Can’t wait to hear from my friend soooooooooooooooon!! 🙂