Turn.
Are you gonna live your life wonderin’ standing in the back lookin’ around?
Are you gonna waste your time thinkin’ how you’ve grown up or how you missed out?
Things are never gonna be the way you want.
Where’s it gonna get you acting serious?
Things are never gonna be quite what you want.
Or even at 25, you gotta start sometime.
I’m on my feet, I’m on the floor, I’m good to go.
Now all I need is just to hear a song I know.
I wanna always feel like part of this was mine.
I wanna fall in love tonight.
Are you gonna live your life standing in the back looking around?
Are you gonna waste your time?
Gotta make a move or you’ll miss out.
Someone’s gonna ask you what it’s all about.
Stick around nostalgia won’t let you down.
Someone’s gonna ask you what it’s all about.
Whatcha gonna have to say for yourself?
I’m on my feet, I’m on the floor, I’m good to go.
Now all I need is just to hear a song I know.
I wanna always feel like part of this was mine.
I wanna fall in love tonight.
Crimson and clover, over and over.
Crimson and clover, over and over.
Our house in the middle of the street, why did we ever meet?
Started my rock ‘n roll fantasy.
Don’t don’t, don’t let’s start, why did we ever part?
Kick start my rock ‘n rollen heart.
I’m on my feet, I’m on the floor, I’m good to go.
So come on Davey, sing me somethin’ that I know.
I wanna always feel like part of this was mine.
I wanna fall in love tonight.
Here tonight.
I wanna always feel like part of this was mine
I wanna fall in love tonight.
-Jimmy Eat World
–
Isn’t it strange how life can change on you so fast?
Last week I was certain would be the worst week of my life. A whole ball of pain and self-doubt filled me. I smoked, I drank, I numbed myself just so I wouldn’t be consumed by my own horrid negativity. My own shock of how I got into such a painful situation.
But then there was a bit of a light that shined down on me. You can’t even begin to understand how these things happen, or why they touch you in such a way.
I met someone. He is quite possibly my male doppleganger. It was a moment of clarity through the pain to meet someone who has shared the same experiences I have, who has the same sorts of stories to tell that I do. He’s Abe’s best friend, and according to Abe who knows him better than anyone in the world, he’s got a major crush on me, which is great because I’ve got a major crush on him too.
He’s driving up to Denton this weekend. He’s a pilot, so he was planning on flying up but those plans fell through. He told Abe that he was going to come up here, even if he had to drive. He said there’s nothing to keep him from coming up here, come hell or high water.
I’m trying so hard not to put all of my eggs in one basket, but it feels like my wheel is finally turning. This past few months have been a roller coaster of emotions, and I finally feel clear. I’ve got a bit of a bounce in my step knowing someone wants to come up, wants to see me. Someone who is so thrilled by my presence as I am with his.
Please, Mother, I pray. Let this be it. Let this be the light I’ve been waiting for.
–
-M