California

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan  jokes, somebody had to come up with this, you know you’re from  California   if:
 
1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and  none are visible.
 
2.  You make over $300,000 and still can’t afford a house.
 
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two  people carrying on a conversation in English.
 
4. Your child’s 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a  nose ring, and is named Flower.
 
5.  You can’t remember . . is pot illegal?
 
6. You’ve been to a baby shower that has two mothers  and a sperm donor.
 
7.  You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you     can taste the difference between Sumatran and  Ethiopian.
 
8.  You can’t remember . . is pot illegal?
 
9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
 
10.  Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the   U.S.
 
11.  Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap  and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George  Clooney.
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12.  Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
 
13. You can’t remember . .is pot  illegal?
 
14.  It’s barely sprinkling rain and there’s a report on every news station:  "STORM WATCH."
 
15.  You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.
 
16.  It’s barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
 
17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
 
18. Both you AND your dog have therapists,  psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.
 
19. The Terminator is your  governor.
 
20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver’s license. If you’re here illegally, they want to give you one.