A Recommendation from Mike

Over the weekend, Mike recommended a new book that he thought we should read together. I love reading. I am one of those people who carries a book with them at all times. I have my Kindle Fire, Kindle on my phone, and a second generation Kindle that I’ve loaned to a friend so that he might read all the books that I have purchased over the last couple of years. I’ve tried to talk Mike into one for himself, but he just never seems to be quite interested. He is not much of a pleasure reader, but he is constantly reading materials that enhance his knowledge. When reading, the only thing I want enhanced is my time to spend with my book. Anyway, I was shocked to have him come to me with a book we could share and totally up for a read with the hubby.

The book he recommended is The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children, by Stormie Omartian. I had to laugh at how the author’s name and the title of her book could not have been more apropos.  Mike and I began praying for our children from the moment they were born.  We have prayed for their futures including educations, careers, and spouses.   She  began this book by giving the reader seven things every parent of an adult child needs to know:

1.  You need to know that it never ends.  I don’t know why I thought that when my children turned eighteen and scooted off to college that I would dust my hands off and think that my job was done.  I have worried and fretted far more with them as adults than I ever did with them as children.  The author talked about how when our children live under our care,  we feel more in control of their decisions and possess the ability to have input in their choices.  She continued on to say "But when our children are adults and making many decisions on their own without input from us, we see all the possible serious consequences of making the  wrong ones.  And we also see how we will be paying for those wrong decisions right along with them."   I know that Mike and I have spent many a sleepless night worrying about our adult children, but the opportunity to voice our thoughts, concerns, and opinions was not okay, so we spent a sleepless night worrying.  Had we thought it through, we would have taken those thoughts, concerns, and opinions to God.  We would have shared with him and trusted that he would hear those prayers and affected the change in their lives.  

2.  You need to know that you can’t fix them.  My favorite quote from the author thus far is, "We all must ask God to  show us what to do, and what  not to do do, for our adult children.  We have to seek God as to how to pray for them.  We need to ask the Lord for clarity and discernment to know when to just pray and let Him work in their lives without any other help from us. Only God knows the right thing to do.  And when you have released your adult child completely into God’s hands and put the Lord in charge of his or her life can you ever have true peace." In other words, let go and let God.

3.  You need to know God can change everything.  When I have the power of God working for me and in my life, I have hope for anything. As the author said, "The list of God’s promises to you is far longer than your list of concerns for your adult child."

4.  You need to know you must stop blaming yourself.  According to the author, there are only two ways to avoid guilt as a parent.  The first is to die soon after you child is born.  The second is to walk with God every day and ask Him for wisdom about everything.  Turn them over to God……he is the only perfect parent.   

5.  You need to know how to forgive. Forgive my adult children for anything they may have done to hurt, disappoint, neglect, or anger me. Forgive anyone in my adult child’s past whom I believe did harm tor him or her in any way. Forgive myself for anything in the past where I felt I could have done better as a parent.

6.  You need to know there is only one perfect parent.  When I read the subtitle on this, a scripture popped right into my head, "train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6).  Low and behold….there it was right on the page.  I know that I have done the best that I could do as a parent.  Neither of my kids came with operating manuals that said, "If this occurs, turn to page 53 and follow the steps provided."    Whatever was not perfect about what Mike and I taught our children can be taught to them as adults by God.  Our job is simply to pray for that to happen.

7.  You need to know you can wholeheartedly say, "For this adult child I prayed." 1 Samuel 1:27  "For this adult child I prayed and You, Lord, have heard my prayers and granted my petition."  Like Hannah,  Mike and I will lift our adult children, including their spouses up to God in prayer.  We will rejoice in what He does with them and for them.  

All of this was found in the first thirty pages of the book.  Mike and I spent hours discussing it last night.  No TV or phone in the back ground, just an honest conversation about our children and pure honest prayer.  I had the best night’s sleep that I have encountered in a long time.  No worries….no fear….no looking back.  It is time to look forward and watch what the perfect parent can do.

"My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from him." Psalm 62:5

Lora