Ugh

Too much has been going on for me to process. I need a few days to just be and figure everything out. But that’s not going to happen. So I guess I need to just try to keep going. My husband has been sinking deeper and deeper into the pit that is depression. I am finally finding balance on my meds as he started to fall. So off to the doctor for him. The meds are already starting to make a difference, although I see a few weeks before it lasts all day and brings him back to normal. Then yesterday he showed up with a mystery rash, if its worse today he is going back to the doctor, I want to make sure its not a funky reaction.

Also dealing with my son’s kindergarten paperwork. I need to find his immunization record and go get a copy of his birth certificate. Once I get those we should be good to go. That’s good because at the end of next month I have to have him registered so I can talk to his teacher about meeting his needs. I will probably opt for afternoon kindergarten as that has a lower student to teacher ratio. Its scary to leave the cocoon of the teachers and therapists we know so well. He will still see his speech therapist, and probably the one for the school district as well, but his services coordinator and social/personal therapist will be out of the picture after this. She is the one who did his initial intake assessment and has been with us every step of the way. This will be a big change for him and even if HE doesn’t miss her, I will.

The biggest, and worse, thing I am dealing with is my father finally did something about his horrible stomach pain. It turns out he has esophagus cancer. This hit the family like a ton of bricks because there is almost no history of cancer. We expected his COPD to be the problem, not this… He has tests this week to find out how far advanced it is and if it has spread. Then they move on to treatment options. This is huge and scary and made even worse by the fact THEY DON’T HAVE INSURANCE! Now I know they have enough money, but its still causing a bit of concern for them and my sisters and I. My father complained and refused to get health care till he HAS to because of the health care bill, but now, that he needs it, I bet he is kicking himself at least a little bit.

So yeah, lots of stress, need to scream and cry, no time to do any of that.