brain dump, more later

I am starting to feel better.  My mother came out for a week and it was a good/ bad thing.  She was very helpful, but did some things I really objected to at the same time.  I am having second thoughts about moving to portland at this time, it seems like too many things are going on, too many life changes.  I was not able to breastfeed Soren, I had no milk and he did not want to nurse to get what was there.  THe pediatircian told me to stop frustrating myself and just go to bottle only.  I need to call WIC (sorry just thinking to myself as I type this).  Bryan is having a harder time than I am dealing with the odd sleep cycles, which does not really suprize me but really upsets him.  But he is willing to help out with night time feedings now that it is all in a bottle.  Soren is starting to put on weight now that we have done that so it seems to be a good choice.  (he ended up loosing 1 lb 2 oz.)  Now that my mother is gone, I am not quite sure what to do with myself.  She had us running hither and thither for a week, and now I feel like there is nothing pressing to do.  I did push myself a little too hard the first couple of days she was here and I am sure that did not help, but I had to live up to her standard of what a mommy is, at least while she was here.  Then she realized how hard she was pushing me and backed off some.  I just realized that I am babbling and so will quit now, but I needed to do a brain dump.