Freeze day..

 That’s what it is. I am home though I should be at work. We’ve had below freezing temps for the last few days and several inches of snow in the weekend before that. Frank’s new job told him to stay home on his first day. The roads were still shitty and icy today though. He had a minor accident while I was speaking to him. A jeep a few cars ahead of him hit a slick spot and spun sideways. The five cars behind him, Frank being the last in line all tried to stop quickly to avoid hitting the jeep..and hit each other instead. The jeep, the original instigator of the accident, drove off with little to no scathing. The other five stayed behind, traded insurance info, and then continued on their harried cautious journey. Took Frank almost six hours instead of four but he made it to his job. 

I stayed home. The schools all cancelled two days in a row. I cleaned meticulously, washed bedding, made food, picked up toys,  referee’d boys, hustled and bustled best I could to stay busy and tried to stay sane. I will be quite ready for work tomorrow. I know I was very needed at work today but I had no option without Frank home. Life has very very changed.

I need to pick at the scab on my brain and heart and get back to writing. Since Frank lost his job, I’ve been careening between auto pilot and panic. I’ve discovered stimulant medication. It helps. I can think, sort, work, ruminate, make sense. Words don’t come as easily. Nor does emotion or creativity. Warmth. But I do feel the urge to try. Therapeutic value of writing, fourth son terms it. 

Let’s see how it works.

I will take the boys out to the grocery store later just to get out of the house. We’ve been cooped up together since Saturday. I don’t need much but a change of scenery will be very welcome. Hopefully this will be the last of the winter ugliness for awhile. By Friday, temps should be close to 40 degrees and all this icy madness will go away for awhile..