Patrisha

December 11, 2011

Back to the ER!

Saturday at the grocery store I suddenly started breathing very rapidly and was not able to control it. I ask one of the ladies who works there to call 911 because I couldn’t get my breath under my control. {She was patting me all the time we were waiting for the EMTs but she redeemed herself by going out to my car with my keys, and making sure the handicapped tag was hanging where it was supposed to be and making sure all four doors were locked. }
The EMTs took me to what is rapidly becoming my second home, the Emergency Room. I was given oxygen which helped a lot even though I hated the breathing mask.
I had test after test looking for clots and none were found in my chest or in my lower legs or in my heart. They told me they wanted to keep me in the hospital overnight for "observation." I told them I was willing to give them one day but after that, if nothing was found that caused this, I was going home on Sunday.
I got into a bed at about 6:45 and asked if I could have something to eat since I had had nothing except a bowl of cereal before I went shopping and lots of water in ER. First, I could order nothing from room service until I was "in the computer." At 7 pm, I was told I was there. Room service agreed but whoever admitted me had failed to indicate what kind of a diet I was on! Telephone called were made but since Room Service closed at 7:15 and it took whoever it was 45 minutes to indicate in the computer that I was to have a normal diet, I missed out on that! The very nice people on the ward got me a chicken sandwich on whole wheat and some fruit from somewhere…
My room mate had her television on LOUDLY. At about 11 pm, with great effort, I politely asked her to turn it down. She did and it muttered to me all night. Fortunately, I am adept at sleeping with my fingers in my ears since I shared a dormitory room with seven other girls when I was at boarding school. Actually, I read most of the night. I had my Kindle with me but not the charger. Fortunately, it was fully charged when I put it into my purse on Saturday morning.
I spent most of Sunday crying and being depressed. When I wasn’t crying, I was walking the halls practicing breathing without gasping as I walked. I was determined to go home that day.
One good thing came out of all this. I was crying when a very nice social worker came in to see my room mate. I am a very quiet crier and no one had noticed all day that when I wasn’t walking he halls, I was sitting in the bed crying, but she did. She came in to talk to me and she was very helpful. She suggested I might benefit from talk therapy and mentioned that it was not unknown for stress to affect breathing. {And goodness knows, both Fred and I are very stressed these days. } I am actually surprised that I didn’t think of this myself since I have found talk therapy helpful in the past.
It took 4 hours to get the paperwork to get me out of the hospital done, and I was given a voucher to get a cab to take me back to get my car. When I got home, I went to bed. I didn’t even take my clothes off.
Tomorrow I go see my own doctor where I shall push for the results of all the tests to be explained to me. I will also push for an appointment with a psychiatrist. I have always responded well to medication as well as talk therapy which is why I want an appointment with a psychiatrist rather than a psychologist.
I am very resistant to having to live the rest of my life dragging around a bottle of oxygen. If I have to, I will, considering the alternative, but I don’t want to.

random noter. I go to church with a man on oxygen, but he carries a little bottle around in a small back pack. It seems a lot easier than dragging one around.

TheWoodsprite

December 12, 2011

I am so glad the social worker heard you crying and came to talk with you, and recommended talk therapy! I am sure that is going to help you a lot! It IS a lot you are going through right now and it’s no wonder you have been having these crying spells. You have a lot of feelings and thoughts you need to express! (((((huuuuugggggsssss))))) Nicky

It’s quite a lot to bear, isn’t it. I hope all gets resolved soon and you get to have helpful talk therapy.

You have been under so much stress. I’m glad the social worker talked to you — her suggestion was a good one.

Jane Says

Oh my goodness, what a weekend! I hope you are feeling better soon, both physically and mentally. xo

you are doing so well to keep advocating for yourself. Do not accept anything less. It is your life in the balance not theirs.

It seems to me you were exposed to some very kind people through this ordeal: the person who went the extra mile and not only offer you emotional support while you were waiting for the ambulance, but went the extra mile to secure your car and give you peace of mind; the nursing staff who rustled up a meal for you when the cafeteria had closed; and the social worker who looked in on you to make sure you were okay. *hugs* and more *hugs* I’m glad you are home safe, and with a plan in place.

Violet

Sometimes the emotional support is SO much harder to ask for than the physical support. I hope you’re able to work this out, I’d hate being on oxygen, too!

VeronicaCorningstone

Kudos to that social worker for being observant. I’m so sorry that you were hospitalized again and hope that the doctors are able to figure out what is causing all this! You have been under a great deal of stress lately and I think it’s perfectly normal for all that to bubble over and for you to need someone to express all this to!

jjjtripled

Bless your heart…you have been going through some hard times lately.

GrammaDode

You have been going through so much lately, it’s amazing that you even manage to write in your diary. You are such a strong person….I admire you very much.

Ginger Rogers

So sorry to read that you were in the hospital. So glad that the social worker took care of you. Hope to read that you are better soon.

Gypsy Spirit

scary stuff. Glad you got help. take care….p

Thank you for the note. I’m glad you both enjoy the cards. Please take good care of yourself. Stress does really nasty things to people. We think quite highly of you and wish you well.

gray tabby

December 13, 2011

oh, i’m so sorry you are having to go thru this alone. it must be scary and frustrating for you. very glad the social worker heard you crying and gave you some good advice. hope you are able to get to see a psychiatrist soon. you do need some help so you can function. prayers for you. take care,

Orange Sorbet

Sorry that you’re having such a bad time lately.

momof2boys2

That is so sad. I am glad the social worker came and talked to you. There are still people out there who care for you and want you around for a long time. It almost sounds like a full blown panick attack or anxiety attack. I have had them in the past and they do have medication for them. I take it only when necessary and it works wonders!

'Rella

*HUGS YOU* Feel better soon and take care of yourself!

TruNorth

Very sorry to learn of your distress. As you rightly point out, it is not surprising considering the stuff you are currently trying to deal with. I hope you feel better.

I’m so sorry you are going through all of this Patrisha. It sounds like everyone is taking care of Fred, but you need taking care of too, just a little. I’m glad the social worker was quick enough to notice and to talk to you. It does sound like it could be stress induced…but then I’m no doctor.

MargUK

December 15, 2011

Goodness that must have been frightening for you but I would go with the stress theory as well – it’s been a hell of a stressful time for you recently. ‘I could order nothing from room service until I was “in the computer”.’ Honestly what next – how ridiculous!

Telynor

December 17, 2011

Many hugs. How dreadful for all of this going on for you! It sounds as though you were going through a panic attack, and it is hard as hell to focus on getting out of one when you’re in the middle of it. I try deep breathing, and counting which helps me a bit.