More About Fred
- I haven’t been to see Fred since he went into the hospital. But I have called him a couple of times a day.
- It is breaking my heart to talk to him. His speech is slurred and he doesn’t always seem to understand or remember why he is there. He talks a lot about coming home.
- This morning he apparently tried to call me. I don’t know what the problem was but he asked a nurse to call me and gave her the correct number.
- One of his daughters called me last night and said he is supposed to have a collection of people helping him. She mentioned a social worker and a physical therapist but I guess nothing can be done over a weekend.
- I need to know what is going on, but since I am not his wife, I have, apparently, no legal rights at all…
- I will make a big effort to actually get out there to see him on Monday. I haven’t been going because the hospital is HUGE and I dread the physical effort it will be for me to park my car and walk to wherever he is…
- Thinking about how I can get help with this, I wonder if I ask for a wheelchair and someone to push me, will I get one? I used to do this going to ophthalmology. As time passed, I got physically stronger and was pleased that I could walk up there…
- That 13 plus hours waiting in the emergency room has knocked a lot of stuffing out of me. But I am feeling a bit better about going tomorrow now I have thought of asking for a wheelchair…
- I need to talk to someone medical who can explain to me what is going on. Is this confusion temporary and/or due to meds? How is he going to get home and into the house? I can drive him home but I am physically unable to help him walk up three steps or to pick him up if he falls.
- When I talked to his daughter yesterday, I thought she said he was back to being coherent again. Perhaps I misunderstood her. I know she said he has been having trouble with not being able to think of the word he needs but he has had that for a time and normally it has been a minor problem. He makes it worse by being hard on himself and calling himself names which, of course, makes it worse. But he wasn’t coherent talking to me this morning and he wasn’t able to tell me what was going to happen. In fact, he asked me why he was there…
Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks,
breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun.
— Mary Lou Cook
"We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers – but never blame yourself. It’s never your fault. But it’s always your fault, because if you wanted to change you’re the one who has got to change." — Katherine Hepburn
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
You are the guy who’ll decide where to go. ~ Dr. Seuss
perhaps you could call the patient advocate or social worker at the hospital. I am sure if you explain your situation they will try to help you out.
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What a mess. Your distress leaps from the page. Is it possible for the disfunctional daughters to aid you in getting there? If our very strong wishes were magic, Fred would be well and home with you now.
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*hugs*
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Oh dear…poor Fred, and poor you. The idea of getting a wheelchair is a good one, most hospitals have volunteers who can do that. Our hospital even has Valet Parking for people who need that kind of service. I hope you can see him soon. you must be frantic.
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I’m surprised they don’t have some kind of shuttle service or one of those motorized carts like they have in the grocery store. I hope you’re able to figure it out. Poor Fred. Hope he recovers soon!
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It is quite common for older folks to get “befuddled” in a hospital setting. It could also be the drugs.. Hang in there. I”m praying hard here. Love you. ~M
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Many hugs. I wish I could say something useful here. Doesn’t VT have partner’s rights that could let you be informed as to what is going on?
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I like your first noter’s idea of contacting the social worker. I feel sure s/he will help you! I am so, so sorry you and Fred are going through this. (((((((((((huuuuuuuuuuggggggggggssssssssss))))))))) Nicky
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i think fred or his daughters can tell the social worker or patient advocate that you can be told what is going on with him. it’s all due to those hippa regulations. i know fred would want you to know what’s going on. prayers for both of you. take care,
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Often times any type infection, especially a UTI, can cause confusion in older folks.
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That’s what the Social Worker is supposed to do: liason between the hospital & you. She/he asks first if there is someone at home to care for him. If you tell her that you will need help, she will find someone to help you, & she’ll come out once a week to see how you’re getting along. The Physical Therapist will come out also; maybe every day or 3 times a week.
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Hospital can tend to be a very confusing place in general and the drugs are probably not helping that situation – I wouldn’t worry too much although I know that’s easier said than done! The wheelchair option is a good idea. Surely his daughters are getting info from the doc – are they not passing that on?
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Everyone else has had good advice for you. I don’t have any other suggestions to offer….but I am so sorry you are going through all this.
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I’m so sorry that you are going through this Patrisha. I wonder if he was confused at certain times and less at others? I hope you find a solution to help you with your mobility and that the social worker will be able to help you get the information that you need.
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*hugs*
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How very frustrating for you. I agree with the noters who say the drugs/medication bring on confusion. They won’t be sending Fred home while that is going on. I’m sending my best wishes to you and Fred.
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I didn’t realise that you and Fred weren’t married. I think you ought to get in touch with somebody at the hospital and insist that they give you more information about what’s going on. Good luck!
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Love the first noters suggestion… I think there has to be some help to help you with transportation and navigate you through this … *HUGS* to you both.. Give Fred my love and please take care of yourself…
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I know this is so hard on you. I hope you get some answers.
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I’m so sorry to hear about Fred. Please give him my best. If you call the hospital in advance, they should be able to arrange a wheelchair for you to visit him. They can also have Fred (or his daughter) sign a release to share medical information with you, and give you power of consent, if desired. Ask for a copy of his MAR (medication administration record) to see what he’s been given, and when.
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*hugs*
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I hope you are not planning to push him in a wheelchair yourself. Can’t they supply an electronic one?hugs P
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