Facing Worry
As I get older, I am getting better about dealing with personal health issues. When I was younger, my attitude about this was to stick my head in the sand, be an ostrich and hope it would all go away by itself {although I was actually quite good in getting my sons to the doctors.}
Going back to my own health, since I have had two different primary cancers –renal in 1998 and endometrial in 2000–I have learned that a diagnosis of cancer is not necessarily a death sentence. A few years ago, I went through an intensely anxious period where I was afraid that every little ache or pain was yet another form of cancer. That was helped considerably by talking to The Shrink Who Answers his Own Phone, and a supply of Ativan to break what he called "the cancer loop."
Now, for the last week or so, I have had the feeling that everything I ate was stuck in my esophagus. I have been drinking a liquid with my meals and deliberately taking smaller bites and chewing everything well, but it is still there. So, of course, you know what kind of a loop I am in now, right? The anxiety has been helped a bit by talking to Fred this morning about what is going on, and as a direct result of less anxiety, I actually called and made an appointment to see someone about this tomorrow at 3 pm. And, because he is anxious, too, and also to help me remember everything I want to ask, Fred is coming too. A very large part of my anxiety about this is that these symptoms are what my sister had before she was diagnosed with the cancer which eventually moved to her brain and from which she died.
Now, in case you hadn’t noticed, 
I am 74. Therefore, I have been thinking about death a lot. Well, not every moment of the day, but more than I have done in past years. I remember that my sister told me that it felt odd to actually know what it was one was going to die from. And, of course, I am wondering if, in a few days, I am going to have the same knowledge that she had. Anyway, not to anticipate trouble. I am feeling a little less anxious about this since I have been proactive and taken the first step in getting information and help.
Also on the subject of health, I finally got myself organized enough to make an appointment to see the doctor who did my left hip total replacement. I don’t get to see him until October
. By then it will be a year and almost a half! Oh, well! Oh, and his office has moved but the scheduler said she will send me a map of how to get to their new place. At least I will not have to deal with the hospital parking garage this time!
In a total change of subject, has anyone any ideas about why a document sent from Fred’s PC to the new printer does print but comes out very light print? It is gray, rather than the black that comes out when I print from either of my two Macs. The printer is a Canon HP470. My thought was that for some reason, information sent from Fred’s PC was asking for "draft" rather than better printing. I have poked around a bit this morning with his printer settings but there doesn’t seem to be any place to set this. Any other ideas?
QUOTATIONS:
"Step by step. I can’t think of any other way of accomplishing anything."
Michael Jordan
"Fear not for the future, weep not for the past."
Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822) English poet
Esophageal webs or strictures are fairly common as we age, and can be caused by GERD. Esophageal dilation is a procedure that allows your doctor to dilate, or stretch, a narrowed area of your esophagus, usually as part of a sedated endoscopy. It’s probably not much to be concerned about.
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No clue about the printer. As for your symptoms, I hope it turns out to be nothing bad. I am like an ostrich about my health. I need to do a better job of taking care of things.
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{{{{HUGS}}},
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I am SO scared of dying that every little health issue I have makes me worry that I have something worse. 🙁
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I love the quote by Shelley. So sorry to read of your health worries. And so glad you are going to get it checked. Perhaps it is what your first noter said & easy to take care of. Praying for you, dear friend. Anna
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RYN: You are one of the most observant people I’ve ever met. *HUGS* 🙂 Be well,
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I’m glad you are going to the doctor and you’ll have answers soon. *hugs*
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I can understand why you worry, especially in your throat, the stuck feeling is scary. RE printer. Check the printer set-up again, make sure that the DPI is set to higher than 100. The other reason is ink. I bought a brandnew ink cartridge and it only printed gray. I guess you should try to print from yours to see if yours comes out black (if you haven’t done so). Also, make sureit doesn’t print in gray scale. You can type into Google the printer you have and right behind it the problems and look through the answers. Also, Yahoo answers is pretty good for this.
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I hope your symptoms go away quickly on their own. No ideas about the printer. I hate when those things happen.
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We are all circling the drain. Your sister’s comment about it feeling odd to know what it is that is going to cause your death is profound. We only get that experience once this lifetime. I can understand your concern given the family history, but history does not have to repeat itself. I hope you don’t hear the C word from your doc, but if you do, I know you will share each step of theway with us as you handle whatever the diagnosis is with your usual courage and common sense. Hugs,
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Well, I’m not going to say anything about the esophageal thing until you find out more information, Information is power. I will think positive thoughts for you. As for the printer, at least on my printer driver, when you hit CTRL-P to print something, a box pops up and you can click on the Preferences button then the Paper/Quality tab and there are some quality options there. Each printer hasdifferent ones, so I can’t tell you which ones to pick. That’s all I’ve got on that one. Otherwise, no clue, especially if it’s the exact same document on both computers and the exact same printer.
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There’s nothing like doing something to take away your worry, eh? I pray it’s minor 🙂
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I do hope all goes well with the doctor and that everything is okay.
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My mom had problems swallowing and food would get stuck and she couldn’t get it down, only out by throwing up. Ended up where she need her esophagus stretched. She had it done about 6-7 years ago and then again just recently. Maybe be what the problem is. Let’s hope.
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Best wishes for peace of mind,re: your health,.
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I am glad you reminded me of your age, otherwise I would not have known.
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I had an esophageal thing, and it scared the crap out of me. Turns out it was nothing that a little diet change, medication and endoscopy couldn’t cure. I hope you find out it’s something as easy as that!
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As another noter indicated, it’s probably an esophageal thingy — possibly a hiatal hernia caused by acid reflux. My David had that last year, and a daily dose of antacid cleared it all up easily.
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I hope all goes well. I like what the first noter said! I know about that river of De-Nile… I travel on it all the time. I hope to get off it VERY soon. You’ve given me hope.
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Art says it is the settings in the driver. Whatever that means! I hope that there is nothing wrong. I think that it is normal to think about death more when you age. I think about it a lot, too.
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I was like you. Until I had cancer myself I always thought of it as a death sentence, but now I know better. And 74 isn’t so old! Hopefully when you get to the doctor you’ll find that there’s nothing to worry about. I think sometimes our imaginations run wild. I know that mine did when I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer. I imagined cancer all over my body! I hope your visit to the doctor goes well.
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I will be thinking of you. I agree that aging can be very difficult and at times I feel overwhelmed when I think of how old I am and that I don’t want to get sick and dependent. On a brighter note I know people and have friends in their eightis who are doing very well. Take care.
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I am like you, I self-diagnose and it’s never a good diagnosis. I’ve survived a lot of fatal conditions over the years! But not to make light of it too much…. I do understand the reasons for your concern, but keep in mind, as some of your other noters have mentioned, it can be lots of things causing your symptoms and most of them are treatable. I’m glad you are seeing a doctor asap though…. nomatter what it is, quick treatment can only be a good thing. I’ll be thinking about you.
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I do understand about the loop, i get there myself some days. I am very glad to hear that Fred is coming along with you, bless him for doing that for you! Distract yourself as necessary and try not to fret too much — I’m sure that it will just be a slight problem, if anything at all. Many hugs, and stay strong.
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I am sorry I missed this entry when you wrote it! I am so glad that by now you have seen the doctor and know what is causing your problem. I’m so glad you go to the doctor instead of sitting around hoping “it” will go away, like some people do!! (((((((((huuuuuuuuugggggggggggggsssssssss)))))))) Weesprite
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