Tuesday Morning
I can’t believe we are almost at the end of January…
I am in rather an odd place mentally right now. The health crisis is over. Fred is back to where he was before the surgery and the heart attack and I am feeling–well, that is the problem. I am not sure. Usually by now I am planning my trip to see my children in the warm and sunny South where they actually have Spring in March! But I don’t know if I am going to go this year. I want to go and yet, silly though it sounds, I don’t know if Fred is going to be well enough for me to go. No, that is not it. As I am writing, I am realizing that I am having difficulty in letting go of my concern for Fred’s health! Now, isn’t that a surprise? It certainly is to me. I took charge and took over when he was so sick and I thought then I hated it. Well, apparently not since I seem to be so reluctant to give it up!
He is having anxiety dreams. He knows he has to make the physical and mental effort to lose weight and get some exercise if he wants to get beyond where he was when he had the heart attack, and yet he is understandably anxious about this. Right now, I can understand why he is not going out and walking. Hey, *I* am not going out and walking in the snow and ice, and yet I have watched him not do it when the sun was shining and the temperatures were in the 70’s and I wonder will he make the effort this year?
Anyway, today I have to get out for a walk. I have been in the house for two days and I am getting cabin fever very badly. I walked on the treadmill both days but what I really need is time alone. I need to get out and I am going to do just that when I am through here. The temperature is 8 degrees with a wind-chill of “feels like minus 9” which, compared to yesterday, is a balmy day here in Vermont. {Yesterday’s windchill was minus 29 degrees!}
Ok, I am going to finish my coffee, finish this sentence, write a title, and I am off…
I hope everything works out and you get to go where it’s warm and toasty! Good luck! 🙂
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Sounds much too cold for me to be walking . Lucky us we are going to have highs in the 40’s today .
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*hugs* I hope you are able to come to the south and see your family. I understand your anxiety though. I get cabin fever if I am inside all day too. At work, my office has no windows, so I go hours without seeing the outside world. I have to get up every now and then and look out a window or take a walk outside. Otherwise, I go crazy
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I think that is quite normal to worry, and after having to take over, it’s not easy to let it go. I hope that you do get to go see your sons. It’s cold here too. Blessings.
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It’s a tough one, Patricia. I can see that you are torn. Yet it would be a shame to give up your annual trip south.
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It can be hard to let go, even of things we thought we did not want. We just get wrapped up in those things; they become (by necessity) “part of us”….and to suddenly have those things removed….well it is akin to “mental or emotional amputation,” isn’t it? My Brother, after his first cancer surgery, lapsed into depression as well. The tumors he’d become so used to were gone. NOW WHAT?….
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…so I think what you’re going through is quite normal. That doesn’t necessarily make it any easier. If you could comfortable get out of the house more, of course such problems would diminish much sooner! here’s hoping you do get outdoors some today! hugs, Weesprite
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yep
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Not surprising since this seems to be a transition time for you both. Hopefully you can make some plans to get to the place you both want to be, then gradually work towards them.
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i understand the needing of alone time. be careful when you go for your walk. there could be ice under that snow. only 5 weeks til march. i can hardly wait! wonder how many days til spring? just counted…54 days til spring! take care,
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It is so had to just start. The whole losing-weight, getting-in-shape thing just seems so insurmountable sometimes! But if he wants to stay alive, he has GOT to do it. Even if it’s just to lift some 1-pound weights for 10 reps morning and evening, and then increasing the reps to 15, then to three sets of 15, then increas the weights to 2 lbs. Baby steps is the key. (cont)
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I understand how you feel. We worry, it’s what we do. My hubby’s knee is getting better, and he’s able to do more for himself, and I’m glad of that, but, there’s a huge part of me that doesn’t feel needed anymore. I hope that Fred loses the weight. I know what a struggle it can be. Good luck to you both, and if you do take the trip, bring some warm weather back home with you please Take care
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…it’s like the old saying: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!
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Brr that weather sounds cold. *Shivers* Enjoy your walk though!
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*huggs*
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It is hard to get into the walking mode….I know. Anyway I hope you have/had a good walk and were careful in the slippery places. Nice to get out and blow the cobwebs out of the brain.
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Stay warm. It sounds about right that it feels odd. After all, an awful lot of your energy has been wrapped up with Fred’s health lately. I do hope you get to go South soon, you need some warmth and sunshine.
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I have a bad case of cabin fever too. 🙂
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I wish for cold, but there is no way I would be out walking in -9. I envy your determination.
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