Later

I feel a little better first, because Bill has gone home and secondly because I gave Fred the cell phone number, turned the cell phone on, told him {loudly} I was going for a 20 minute walk in the dark and put the house phone over by him.

I just got home and he told me he had  made it to the bathroom successfully by himself using his walker. Earlier he had taken a shower successfully while I was in the living room so that went well. He needs the small triumphs.

I was chatting with my sister tonight and she told me I have to draw boundaries and she is right.

He will NOT continue yelling at me in an accusatory manner. He is pressing buttons I thought I had defused. No way–they are as alive as they ever were.

After his daughters have called, I am going to take a half Klonopin tonight and tell him that. If he needs me during the night, I will wake. 

 I desperately need sleep. 

I-Poddery:

  • “Kodachrome” Simon and Garfunkle
  • “Marseillaise” New York Philharmonic
  • “Scarborough Fair” Simon and Garfunkel. {The IPod likes them tonight.}
  • “A Wandering Minstrel I” D’Oyley Carte Opera Company {I think I have spelled that incorrectly.}
  • “First We Take Manhatten” sung by REM from a CD of Cohen’s songs called I’m Your Fan.
  • “Peace Train” Cat Stevens
  • “We Have No Secrets” Carley Simon
  • “Master Song” Leonard Cohen

Fred is calling his daughters not waiting for them to call him. Interesting enough, he is NOT shouting at them.

Until later…

 

 

Log in to write a note
December 18, 2004

I-Poddery is beyond me but I like the sound of what’s on. Hope you have a good night and get some rest.

December 18, 2004

We yell at the people we trust…. Intersting, isn’t it? And ANNOYING~ I agree with your sister. If it were me, I’d simply tell him that if he uses THAT tone of voice, I won’t be answering him… Have a good sleep!!!! Love you! ~M

December 18, 2004

Yes! I’m going to go get Kodachrome right now. Thank you.

Shi
December 18, 2004
December 18, 2004

stand your ground! oh and..I now have my own MP3 PLAYER!!! Not an Ipod, but I think I’m going to love it just as much as you do 🙂

December 18, 2004

Well we always yell at those nearest -usually the ones we love the most as well! But that’s no excuse – hope you get a good night’s sleep.

December 18, 2004

Hmmm, that is interesting. And yes, you need to set those boundaries or he will drive you nuts. You hang in there, if he’s feeling good enough to shout, he’s getting better.

*shakes head* Men. You have my sympathy. And judging from things you have said about him in the past, I’m thinking that he felt he needed to get out of that hospital so that they would quit “babying” him. Hates having help. This is the man who let the A/C sit in the living room for weeks because he didn’t want to ask for help, as I recall. Stubborn old geezer. LOL!

December 18, 2004

This displaced anger seems to happen with many men in a medical crisis. I have no idea why they lash out, but I hope Fred puts it in check and calms down. Please get some rest.

December 18, 2004

Men are like children I think. They are always the harshest with the one they know lives them best.

December 18, 2004

Ooh, I love the Doyley-Cart (or however that’s spelled) G&S stuff!!!!

He sounds like he is taking out his fear on you. Keep taking care of you. Hugs,

December 18, 2004

hmmmmmm, this is odd. I’m sorry you’re going through this, but you are right, you need to set your boundaries. I’m so bad at this.

December 18, 2004

well, I agree with the noter above and we do seem to take things out more on those who we really care about. Hang in there.

December 18, 2004

People forget you are feeling this as well Best Wishes

December 19, 2004

I confess, I don’t know what an IPod is, but I love the song “Scarborough Fair.” I agree, you must set boundaries!! I had to do this when I was taking care of Brother too. They generally appreciate it (whether or not they show it at the time!) Good luck to you and Fred! And may this day be a good one for you. I hope you got the sleep you needed. Weesprite

December 19, 2004

Patrisha, I can not fathom Fred yelling at you — this is so out of character. But he is very anxious right now & out of control emotionally — you need tuck that into your thoughts & TRY to ignore him. This does not mean a good & peaceful Christmas for you, as I prayed you would have. Anna

December 19, 2004

Fred is going to have a lot of apologizing to do. I hope he doesn’t go too far…it is difficult to forgive much less forget these hurts.

Those buttons have a way of popping up again. I meant to say before, I am glad that the biopsy turned out benign. I hope you get a good night’s sleep, Patricia.