Coming out of Depression Part One

The first sympton of depression *I* noticed was when I was crying in McDonalds. {Hey the food isn’t THAT bad.} I was writing in my journal and great purple waves of sadness were sweeping over me. But there had been signs that were visible to others. My older son told me later he started worrying about me whan he would come by in the afternoon and I would still be in my robe. And my friend Teresa said that she knew something was wrong when I didn’t want to come and see a “chick flick” with her.

So I went to see my family doctor who promptly put me on Paxil. From what I have read, I was really lucky that the first antidepressent I tried worked so well for me. Everything was smoothed out. It didn’t solve all my problems but I stopped obsessing over them and started to solve them. I no longer cried in McDonalds or, for that matter anywhwere else. But I no longer laughed. After a few months of this, I realized that I wasn’t feeling like myself…and I HATED it that I wasn’t interested in sex any more because I couldn’t orgasm, or at least not without great difficulty.

So, very VERY slowly, I started weaning myself off the Paxil. I reduced the dosage to a half tablet and stayed at that level for several weeks. Then I took a half tablet every second day for several weeks. Finally, after I was down to a half tablet every 4th day , I quit. The only side effect I noticed is that for about a month afterwards, when I moved my head suddenly, there was a swishing sound in my head, but that gradually died away. And it seemed, so had the depression.

And I could cry normally and laugh again, and sex was fun and interesting and I enjoyed my orgasms immensely…