Last one

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.

Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

Day Seven: Four turn-offs.

Day Eight: Three turn-ons.

Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.

Day Ten: One confession.

I am timid when it comes to women.

Growing up, my parents raised me to focus more on school than girls. My aunt and grandmother, on my dad’s side of the family, helped to reinforce that. My aunt would always say, “Books before girls”, and I took that to heart. I also didn’t live near any kids my age. On my street, I had one neighbor who was about 3 years older than me, but we rarely hung out.

My grandmother lived in a crowded neighborhood compared to where we lived. One of my good buddies lived off of the street, and he would often come over to my grandmother’s house. Her house also was the bus stop for the kids on our street. While she was alive, she made sure to keep order for all of us to ensure we would get on the bus safely. No girls lived on the street either, so the only time I would see girls is at school.

I was also taught abstinence and to stay away from white girls. Since my aunt grew up in the 30’s and 40’s, she still held on to that philosophy. Even when I took martial arts, she still was wary about me hanging around white girls.

I had my first “girlfriend” when I was in 8th grade. My girl was in the 6th grade. We were “together” for like 3 weeks. We held hands once while at school. Her parents thought that we were too young to date, so we broke up.

I never had a girl over my house during middle school. In fact, Tori was the first girl to ever come over my house, and that was back in 2001. She was also the first girl to ever spend the night with me. I did have a few crushes in high school, but they mainly stayed within the confines of the school. I had one semi-serious relationship, Danielle, and we met at the karate studio. Only thing we ever did was hold hands, but we had to break up due to her mom not liking us being together.

During this time, I remained focused on my schoolwork, band and karate. The idea of having sex was never on my mind. I fully wanted to wait until I was older to have a wife and then have sex. My parents never pressured me, and I never worried about experiencing peer pressure while in school. It was actually refreshing not worrying about the fact I was a virgin.

I only went to one dance in high school and never kissed a girl in high school. My first kiss happened in 2001, the weekend before 911.

When I was in college, I never had a girl over my apartment alone. I had a couple of friends who would visit me maybe twice a semester. I stayed in my room most of the time. My other roommates had parties, but I was more worried about my assignments.

I was really shy during this time because I had sooo much respect for women and their bodies. It was weird coming from a small town to an Atlanta college campus. I did see a lot of my friends end up in serious relationships during this time, but I was off-and-on with Tori at the time.

Her and I had been alone a lot during our time together. The most we ever did was make out. Even to this day, 11 years later, I have yet to see her naked. I haven’t seen her topless or in lingerie. The closest I had seen her was in her bathing suit. I never asked her for lingerie pics or anything like that. And the idea of having sex with her never crossed my mind.

That’s the thing that worries me now when I’m talking to a new girl.

When I was talking with Amber, she was the first person I had given, and received, oral. She told me she wouldn’t do anything I didn’t feel comfortable with. Amber said I did a wonderful job and was surprised at how nervous I was. She was the first person I had seen naked, and that was back in 2009.

I talked with Andrea about sex as well. When we hung out, she told me how much I had turned her on. All of that was new to me, and I felt good about it. Ever since I had talked with Andrea, I feel more comfortable and slowly getting out of my shell. It will still take time before I am 100% confident because I still value sex after marriage, and only doing it with someone I can see myself with for the long-term. I still feel intimidated asking for my girl for a booty pic or seeing her without clothes on. I’m definitely the taking-it-slow person lol. I still have yet to spend the night over a woman’s house too heh.

Anyway, I have spent all day doing laundry and packing up my carry-on luggage. I’ve already checked myself in to my flight and printed out my boarding pass.

Unfortunately, Jenn and I won’t be able to meet :-(.

I also spent today counting up the change I had saved up. I had $40 in quarters, $10 in dimes, $2 in nickels, and $3 in pennies. I went ahead and deposited that money in the bank lol.

Well, I’ve made this long enough. I’ll be around to update this weekend.