My 7th Grade Story

This was the first story I had written–and surprisingly–finished. I wrote this for my 7th grade English class, and I got some good comments on it. I remember one comment saying that it was very realistic and stuff. Well, here it is without any corrections.

The Gang’s Revenge on Brian Curtis

On a cheerful and radiant day, Brian, a well-known police investigator, was having a picnic with his family at Bayport coastline. Once they completed eating, Elaine, a thirteen-year old young woman who used to take martial arts, asked if she could collect seashells. “O,K., but you need to come back here in ten minutes.”, said her dad. Elaine agreed and ran off in excitement.

Soon Elaine found some interesting and weird seashells. One had three stripes and a picture of a tiger inside. Before she kew it, she was hit in the back of the head. Then all she saw was darkness. She had ‘blacked’ out. Then she was bound and gagged. Her kidnappers took her away in a large pickup truck.

“WH-H-HWhere…..am…I?”, Elaine said in a dazed voice. Then there was a hars reply. “You don’t need to know where you are yet!”, yelled a man with sharp, evil-looking eyes and a hook on his right hand. “I know you. Aren’t you Adam Cochran?” “Yes!” “Why did you kidnap me?” “You will be part of our plan to have vengeance on Brian Curtis.”

Meanwhile at the seaside we see Brian Curtis along with Melissa, an attractice woman named Melissa. “Elaine [pauses], where are you?” There was no response, but the call of the sea gulls. “Darlin, Elaine must be having fun gathering seashells.” “Well I’m going to search to see if my daughter is all right.”

After Brian explored and persisted to call his daughter’s name without response. He found some footprints, and thought, “Maybe if I follow these footprints I might find Elaine somewhere.”

After Brian saw his daughtere’s footprints, he found a note that reads…

Cutise, we have taken your daughter hostage, but don’t even think about coming here to rescue her, or summon the police. If you do, we will kill your daughter. If you want to see your daughter again, bring me twenty billion dollars, and the good half of the Moon Pearl. If you fail then your daughter will be killed. Then you will be held responsible, and taken to jail. Vengeance will be mine!”

Afterreading the note, he ran back as fast as he could until he found his car, a 1995 Pontiac Firebird. ” Dear, what’s the matter?” asked Melissa. “Our daughter has been kidnapped by someone who wants to murder me!”

“We must notify the police pronto!”, Melissa gasped. “No can do. If we involve the police, they will murder Elaine.” “What do we do now?” asked Melissa. “There is only one thing to do. We have to pay them twenty bilion dollars, and the other half of the Moon Pearl.”

“What!” gasped Melissa with amazement. “No one can come up with that kind of money!” Brian explained, “Melissa, we have no alternative.” As they were talking, the horn of Brian’s car was blaring. Someone was out there. Was it Elaine’s kidnapper’s? Both Melissa and Brad moved closer to the window. They could see a silhouette of what appeared to be a hsort man with long hair. Looking closer, Brian realized it was Brad Summers. He and Brian had been long-time friends. Brad knew Brian well enough to know that blowing the horn of his car would get his attention. Brad was sometimes a prankster. Little did he know, this was not the time to joke.

One inside, Brad asked, “Hey!, Where is Elaine?” That’s what we are trying to figure out.” replied Melissa. “What is going on?” asked Brad. He did not like the worried tone of Melissa’s voice. Nor did he like the somber and bewildered look on his friend, Brad’s face. “Hey! There’s a note by the door.”

Meet me at fifty-nine Fourtheen Avenue. we have a plan to take over the world..We also have a hostage by the name Elaine Curtise. Come at once, and don’t tell anyone.”

“What does the note say?” asked Melissa with excitement. “The note is talking about where Elaine is being held captured.” “Wow! What a discovery!” “But it is also frigthing”replied Brad. “What do you mean?” asked Melissa. “According to this they are also planing to take over the world.” “What?” shouted Melissa “I say we should call the police at once.” replied Melissa “Yeah, I agree!” Brian said. Later Brad makes a call to Chielf Collig, a close friend of the Curtis.

“Hello.” “Hi, there is something here that you have to know,” replied Brad. “What is that?” “Adam Cochran and his gang are on the loose.” “What? Again? What are they up to this time?” “They are planning to murder Elaine Curtise, unless we pay them twenty billion dollars, or give them the other half of the Moon Pearl. “We can’t let them do that! We must not let the other half of the Moon Pearll get into the wrong hands.!” “That was what I was thiniking” “Well do you know where their secret hideout is?” “Sure, they are at fifty-nine fourteen Avenue.” “That is the battered, and prehistoric warehouse.” “Exactly, but only one thing.” “What?” “How are going to seize that gang?” “Well I was thinking that we should be at a stake out until they strike. Then take them by surprise.” “What do we do in the meantime?” asked Brad “Stay right where you are. Do no tget involved unless it is necessary. ” “Okay, thank you officer.”

Soon after he hangs, up Brad tells Elaine’s parents the vonersation. “Oh I do hope Elaine is all right.” Melissa said in a concern, and quivering voice. “honey we will find a wqay to bring that gang to justice.” “I do not know about you, but why don’t we have some ice cream to empty our minds of today’s tragedy.”

Meanwhile at the warehouse we see Elaine by a door, guarded by two tough looking men. We now see another with a tattoo, that looks like a snake crawling on a stick. Who now seems to be talking to Elaine, and now slaps her in the face.

“What do you want with me?” asked Elaine. “Nothing, but you are going to be used for bait for my master plan, and no one will stop us!” “Well I want you to know that my father will here to rescue me.” As soon as Adam heard that reply, he slaps her again, but much harder. “Well, I don’t think so! You see we have a date with your father to pay us twenty billion dollars, and the other half of the Moon Pearl in thirty days.” “What does that have to do with me?” asked Elaine. “You see if they fail then we will kill you, and your father will be held responsible. Vengeance will be mine.!”

We are back downtown with Melissa, Brian, and brad at a attractive two story ice cream parlor. Soon as Brian ordered his favorite ice cream, cookies and cream, there came an alarm. We see three men rushing out of Circuit City. one looks like Brian, and another appears to be five foot four inches tall. The owner os Circuit City was the third man.

:”Someone prevent these men before they take the computer, a Packard Bell Legend!” shouted Elliott with extreme, and powerful voice. “Let’s go see what this is all about” suggested Brad, but soon after Brian ran outside, he was hit from behind, and fell to the ground face first into the massive, dry dust. Then he was pulled up by a bulky police officer.