Chapter 8–Conclusion

“That’s fine. I’ll be glad when this night is over.”

Allison moves ahead of me up the flight of stairs. I wonder what she wants to talk about? As soon as we reach my room, she stands there with her hands on her hips and surveys my room.

“It sure looks nice Victor.”

“Thank you,” I say.

“You don’t mind if I ask you a favor do you?” she looks outside of the window.

“I don’t mind.”

“Can we cuddle one more time?” she turns to face me now.

“What?”

She shakes her head, “don’t. I have a confession to make. I am actually a lesbian.”

“WHAT?”

“Yes, I am a lesbian. In fact, I am currently engaged to my fiancee who is from Arizona. You could just say that she’s like my ray of light.”

“You know that I don’t support that lifestyle.”

Her eyes show shock, “Victor! I thought you would like me for who I am and not just dismiss me because my lifestyle is different from yours! I knew this was a bad idea; people like you don’t support lesbians or gays. You’re too caught up in looking at people from the outside, you fail to see what they are all about on the inside!” She begins to storm out of the room. I grab her arm.

“Wait. I’m sorry. I haven’t had a friend who’s a lesbian or is gay. I was always taught to dislike gays and lesbians. Now I see that I am wrong for thinking that way.”

Allison sighs. “Look, I wish that I could be accepted for who I am and not by my lifestyle you know? I told you how much it hurt me for people to dislike me because I was going out with a white guy. It’s even worse when people find out I am a lesbian—except for guys who love lesbians because they think they are sexy.”

“I am sorry for judging you. Can you forgive me?”

“Sure. So you want to cuddle one last time?”

“Yeah, it would be nice to get this out of the way.” I sit down at the head of my bed and Allison follows suit. She leans against me.

“This is nice.”

“Yeah it is,” I admit.

“You know something Victor. After not being with you for two years, it was really hard for me to accept the fact that we are over. You were the most perfect boyfriend I could ask for. You were romantic, charming, loving, respectful, and beautiful. I loved every moment we shared together.”

“Yeah, I did too. To tell you the truth, I’m sorry for dogging you about that night. The months following our breakup was pure hell. Everyday it seemed like we got into a fight.”

“I know. I hated you for that. It seemed that no matter what I did, you would always throw it back at me with full force. There were several instances where I wanted to just hurt you. You don’t know how many nights I spent crying after you would bring up the past. Yes, I made a few mistakes, but you didn’t have to remind me every freaking time we talked.”

“I’m sorry about that. You don’t know how many times I said those words. I didn’t realize how much damage I was doing to you emotionally. We all make mistakes; I was just too selfish to realize that you had to deal with those mistakes.”

“That isn’t all of it though. You see, I had to deal with losing you for a long time. I knew just from that I would suffer; you didn’t have to add to my pain by bringing it up every time. I really hated you for it. The only reason why I gave you more chances than you deserved, is because I don’t hold grudges. Sure, I should have gotten rid of you from my life a long time ago, but why do that? I can forgive, but I will never forget.”

“I am ever thankful you gave me as many chances as you did. You were the first ex I wanted to have in my life because you knew the most about me. I loved you and I just lost it after what happened. That day on the phone…I cried after that. I cried all day and all night. You were the first person I actually cried to on the phone. I was extremely depressed from that day on. My self-esteem had plummeted; I hated myself for what I did. I couldn’t even imagine how your mom felt about me.”

“Victor…you caused me to reconsider how I felt about you after what happened because you kept doing it. The point is, I was tired of all the fighting and I wanted to have nothing to do with you.”

“You want to know something?” I looked down at her while stroking her hair.

“What?”

“There was one night where you helped me see the light.”

“What do you mean?”

“You told me that you hated me for my attitude. After you said that, you pierced through my armor of invincibility. Your words were guided by an unknown mythological force and found its way through my thick brain.”

“Well, you wanted the truth so I gave you the truth.”

“I want to say thank you. Thank you for being a great girlfriend to me. Thank you for letting me in your life for a year and a half; I appreciate everything we did together; you showed me what true love is like. In fact, I have found true love in Claudia. She is my everything and in fact, I want to…”

“Want to what?”

“You know…I feel at ease with everything now. Peace has settled over my body. I feel that I know what I want to do now. Once again, you guided me to my epiphany. I love you my friend.”

“I would like to extend my thanks to you too. You showed me what true love was like. You helped me to see that not all men were jerks; you weren’t afraid to show your romantic side. Remember that night by the fire where we cuddled while watching movies? That moment was pure bliss. Everything was right with the world. Right now though, my girlfriend, Carol, has given me more than I could have ever hoped for. In fact, we’re engaged!”

“You are?” I look at her in amazement.

“Yes!” Allison giggles. “You see, we were sitting down at the park when she proposed to me. It happened while we were watching the sun set. The sun looked so beautiful; the park was beautiful; she was beautiful.” Tears start to envelope in her eyes. “She asked me to propose!” Tears flood down her face. “We are slated to get married in the fall.”

“Wow, I am very happy for you.”

“You mind if I kiss you one last time?”

“No.” She is looking up at me at this time; apparently searching my eyes for the love that was once there. We lean in and our lips touched. The kiss had an instant spark but it quickly died to a dull. I felt the kiss had the message of we are through kind of kiss.

“I really need to get going. I will talk to you later though.” She gets up, kisses my cheek, and walks out of the door. “We are slated to get married in the fall.” Could those words someday hold true for Claudia and me?

“She is my everything and in fact, I want to…” I know what it is I want to do. The only thing that I have to worry about, is time.