time was never on our side

i remember dancing. her body was an inch away from mine, but i couldn’t stop thinking about you. you were leaning against the wall, and more than anything, i wanted you to look at me like you could never take your eyes away. i was spinning and seeing you in pieces: your eyes, your profile, your cheekbones, your mouth, your mouth, your mouth. under those lights, i swore you had a halo. i went home that night, and when i tried to sleep, i found your face burning hot behind my closed eyes.

is it right for me to remember things like this every time i hear one of those songs on the radio?

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March 5, 2004

i don’t think it’s wrong. xo.

March 5, 2004

yeah, she’s really blonde.

(i can never take my eyes away.)

“is it right for me to remember things like this every time i hear one of those songs on the radio?” Oh yeah, it’s right. That’s the songs job. That’s what they do.

a song, a place, a smell, a word. they all have the uncanny ability to do one thing: make you remember.

i don’t think there’s much you can do about – it wrong or right. it’s there and if you want it to be there it’ll stay, if you don’t want it there, it will fade in time.

March 8, 2004

Every day I’m reminded. It’s not anything except “normal”. and ryn: I know you’re still out there. I just never ever ever hear from you anymore. Not e-mail, not phone. I still consider you my friend – just not one that I talk to on any kind of regular basis. I seem to have none of those left apart from Karyn these days.

March 8, 2004

Beautiful girl. I’ve missed you. I can’t believe I never made the trek from Atlanta to Augusta to see you when you were living there. I guess I took some things for granted. And then you were gone. I can’t believe it’s been so long.

March 10, 2004

you define beauty

March 15, 2004

beautiful girl…you are.who were you dancing with, might i ask…?