8 weeks

Well so far, so good! Things seem to be progressing well; I’ve not had any pregnancy related complications (as in spotting etc.) but man, the morning sickness and bowel troubles (TMI I know) have been the worst of it. I’m not taking Diclectin this pregnancy, I know the research says it is safe but mentally I can’t do it, even though I know its probably not linked to our baby’s cystic hygroma (they presumed Turner’s but we didn’t get genetic testing offered in Manitoba) the mental stress of taking it and possibly finding out we have another terminal diagnosis at 12 weeks will be too much for my little overthinking brain to bear. So instead, I am on the sour candy, toast and nap train. Which is actually quite pleasant, except for that whole 40-52 hour work week and finishing the master’s business. But I digress.

I’m probably going to have to stay here while Jack moves out East in July; I haven’t heard back from any internet jobs I applied for and I would only be working for 4 months anyways, so might as well do that here in a job I know and love. I have a great friend here, we’ve only known each other since last summer but she’s really down to earth and has quite the off the wall sense of humour (something I think my often serious personality really benefits from) and has offered to let me live in her guest room (with ensuite bathroom, yesssss!) for a few months while preggo. She has a 3 year old and a 1 year old and an equally nutty husband, should be fun and pretty laid back times. The private bed and bath is a big plus too, and I won’t have to pay apartment rent for the time that I’m there though I’ll be sure to pass on some cash for rooming etc. I’ll have to send the cat and dog along with Jack and miss out on setting up the baby’s room and getting things organized after the move, but I figure I’ll just take early mat leave and have a month and a half or so to get things sorted once I’m out there. I also have to find an OB in Ontario but my current OB says she is going to take care of all of that for me, excellent.

Speaking of OB, I have to give a call to the office this week I think. I’m 8 weeks today, would need an ultrasound scan for nuchal translucency between 11-13 weeks which is only 3-5 weeks away. Jack is going to be out of country for a bit of that window of time, so I think my friend will accompany me- no more going to sad ultrasounds and appts alone for this lady, that’s for sure. I feel like this pregnancy is going well, things are on target but the fear of the depth of pain and loss from the past rears its ugly head on a fairly regular basis I’m afraid. I just try to have faith, know that I can’t do anything except take good care of us (myself, baby and Hubs) and hopefully things will work out for us. If things go well on the 11-13 week ultrasound I’ll be booking a private ultrasound so Jack can at least come and watch. He saw our little babe last time and it really meant a lot to him; I want him to have that chance to bond this time around too. Thank goodness for early ultrasounds, even though its not a guarantee it will feel easier to get to bond with this baby sooner than if we had to wait until 18 weeks to find out if babe was going to make it. Sad but true.

However! I am getting excited about this babe someday coming home. The idea that next year (babe is due in Dec) will be very different, and I’ll finally be a Momma, is a very happy thing to look forward to. I hope that this time my entries will be something to look back on fondly and remember the times before baby in a good way; to have a record of happy anticipation will be just wonderful.

On that note, I wanted to record some funny preggo food things: I can eat veggies (but not really dark green ones like brussel sprouts), fruits, yogurt, milk, cheese (but only some kinds…) grains but not things with sesame seeds, eggs but not if they are gloopy (usually I love soft eggs, not so much right now) but absolutely NO JUNK FOOD. I have even abstained from chocolate for all of Easter preamble because the idea of chocolate makes me want to throw up. So not the usual me! I also can’t eat chips or popcorn anymore, I have discovered. Sour candies are awesome for the nausea but I don’t want to eat sugar all day so I found some natural fruit gummies with sour lemon on them that are a decent substitute. I haven’t gained any weight so far, and Hubs says I’m getting skinnier but not by trying, I certainly eat three meals plus three snacks a day but my appetite just isn’t there most of the time. I’m trying to get to the gym, made it two times a week for the last few weeks with dog walks of ~30minutes a day to keep the old body moving along. I can’t not exercise I’ve discovered, it causes me great pain in the belly as I think my digestive tract is on cruise control at best. Ugh.

So, nothing really fantastic, nothing really dramatic, normal preggo stuff. I have a little twinkle of an idea that having twins would be fun, but then I’m not really THAT sick or THAT big at this point so probably only one critter in there. We shall see! Twins do run in the family (fraternal) and I am an older Momma so who knows. It would be nice to have two (I took care of two babes at a time in NICU so I have some inkling of what I’m saying there!) but I am sorta opposed to a routine c-section so we’d have to have that convo more aggressively if there are two beans in there. I’m putting my faith in the universe that brought this conception to be (see back two entries) that whatever needs to happen will happen and things will work out okay.

Now if only I could believe that 100% of the time, then I’d have little to worry about (haha!)

FGirl