Of Lions and Lambs…

I’m feeling WAY better since writing here a few weeks ago. I think with my period comes a HUGE hormone shift, and although I’ve been a woman for a long time, most of those years were with 21 day hormones and 7 days off instead of the natural every 7 days shift, and mentally it is an iteresting thing to feel one way hormonally for 15 years and then shift into another way of feeling. I used to think PMS was a myth, certainly I didn’t experience it… yet I now know, after having a pregnancy and also having normal woman cycles that hormones mean business. They are not to be taken lightly!! Although I was crushed with the news of not being pregnant yet again, I have moved on. Had some wine. Having some hubby loving. Its not all sadness in these parts.

Hubs is going away for two weeks this month, so we may not have success at making a baby. And I’m okay with that, I’m not on any time frame other than anytime would be nice… I have come to realize I am not like some women who try and succeed easily, or we would have had at least one baby living in our house by now (my first due date was Jan 10, the second April 11). So for me its a process, and not a singular event. I think placing this meaning upon all of it is helping me to internalize the experience for me. And all that nursing speak jazz.

In other news, we finally hired a second nurse at the clinic. I have been manning two nursing phones and one community liason worker phone which is starting to take away from my clinical time with patients. The scope of the clinic is AWESOME. I do full physicals, suggest prescriptions, labs and diagnostics after my assessments which the docs comment upon and authorize… basically a student NP scope. Although it is for RN pay, which some of the other nurses disagree with, I am so happy to be using my thinking, diagnostic and planning skills. Heck my student NP pay was ZERO (actually a loss of ~$25 000 last year in wage opportunity costs) so to me this job is excellent.

We are moving again, this June. I’m hoping to Ontario to be close to family and more job opportunities for me, but it could also be New Brunswick as we haven’t heard the official word yet. Oh to be a miltary family at the whim of dudes who plan stuff and make decisions but give short notice (we find out in April where we will move to, have a house hunting trip in May already arranged to one of two said provinces).

Life is grooving along. I’m here for both the highs and lows of the ride.

FGirl