Full heart, Empty arms #3

War Talk
 
At some point in every relationship there comes a discussion of future plans, goals and dreams. At an early point in my relationship with Jack there came the discussion of the role of the Canadian Forces in his life, and how that role would come into play with our time together both in the beginning and into the future. I knew early on that there would be challenges to overcome, and there has not been a day since those early discussions that I have ever thought the difficult times were too much to handle. However, at best I still have a love-hate relationship with the Canadian Forces (when we are kept apart due to the nature of Jack’s job), and I feel I would be lying to describe it otherwise.
Earlier, I reflected upon the realization that this time on my own has created a greater appreciation for the times I am able to spend with Jack. In our time apart, I am learning more about myself and about the nature of life and love. I am learning how to navigate the feelings that separation, communication difficulties and the danger of the unknown bring. One theme in the mire of these feelings involves having an opinion about the mission itself. I would say my opinion has evolved over time, initially riding the “I support the soldiers but not necessarily our role in the mission” bus towards a more philosophical viewpoint on the nature of war and conflict that currently helps to guide my emotions and actions. I can honestly say that I have seen popular media, current events pieces, documentaries, Hollywood films and read books by people who have been involved in recent international conflicts involving Canadian soldiers. My own opinion on whether our role is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ regarding the mission in Afghanistan has been obviously shaped by these exposures. More importantly however (to borrow the words of one of my extended family members), I feel my opinion has been shaped by the dialogue that I have engaged in with others.
When people say “We are a peacekeeping nation” I ask: “How did our role as peacekeepers serve the people of Rwanda during the genocide?” When people say “We don’t belong there, the people of Afghanistan don’t want us there” I say: “Did their elected government official not release statements saying that his people needed the allied forces to remain to bring stability to the Afghan nation?” When I am faced with “even if we build schools, the Taliban will eventually win with their fear tactics and undo all of our efforts anyways” I counter with: “So, is that to say you believe the right to education is not worth fighting for unless the fight doesn’t involve military force? How would your opinion change if it was your daughter, or sister, or friend who wanted to learn but was forbidden (or physically threatened) from doing so?” When people state “Afghanistan is an illegal war. We should bring our soldiers home before we lose sight of our role in this conflict”, I state “Does a United Nations (UN) sanctioned mission mean that our participation is considered illegal? Where does the notion of legality fit into a conflict involving terrorism and the oppression of human rights?” The list goes on and on. I feel one cannot posit for one side of the argument without truly investigating the intricacies of both that position and its opposing viewpoint. As we in society act as mirrors of what are acceptable behaviours in our fellow citizens, our discussions are mirrors of how we see the world and where our values lie.
On any given day, I can empathize with both sides of the above listed statements and oppositions. However, the best I can say at this point about my understanding of the nature of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and the human condition is that we simply do not have all the details. Some pieces of information are augmented, while others are silenced. I fear we can never have the true picture (arguments about the nature of truth aside) of these sorts of issues, nor can we ignore the difficulties our role in these conflicts creates.
The main thing for me is to recognize the importance of dialogue, with a basic appreciation of my freedom to record these thoughts in print. I fear that were I born in another nation, or another time, I would not have been afforded said luxury. Although not all progress is born from resolution of conflict and suffering, I cannot deny that the differences between my human reality and that of the average woman living in Afghanistan should not be so drastic. It is for this reason, a desire to understand the other and to promote the emergence of global human rights to freedom of speech and thought that I support my soldier. I may not have all of the answers, but I have a dedication to continue on, and to never stop questioning.