A long overdue update

Greetings everyone.

It has been a very long time since I have written here, much has changed, while much has stayed the same it seems.

The last few months have had quite a few changes, the biggest one being my living situation. In January, my Mother and I went to a town near where my grandfather lives. My grandmother died during the snow that lasted two weeks and kept us from traveling for the entire time, until a few days after when the snow and ice melted enough to travel. Once we were able to travel to near his home, my mother became ill and fell while we were at a mutual friends home. She was admitted into the hospital and the decision was made by her doctors to have her moved into an assisted living center.

There was a flurry of activity, trying to pack all of her belongings to send to where she would eventually live, but to place somewhere safe in the meantime. As well as packing everything else to put into storage. Her apartment is small, a one bedroom. A small apartment fridge, microwave and sink is the entirety of the kitchen, so she is forced to mostly survive on the meals provided, though most are unappetizing to her.

For the last few months, I was driving back and forth between where she moved to, just a couple miles from our mutual friends home, and the town she and I had lived in before. A friend of mine allowed me to stay in her spare room, although I had little room for my own belongings, a recliner and a few clothes, tv and computer that I could not connect.

The last few weeks, my Mother has been in hospital three times, once for eleven days, another for two, and the third time she was sent into a rehab/nursing facility three streets away from her home, and while there, the administrator of the assisted living facility, gave permission for me to reside here with her, since she needs more care than they can provide. Not enough to warrant a nursing home, which is a huge relief to her and I, as I think that if she were forced to live in one, she would not live long, she would not wish to.

When first my Mother lived here, the administrator stated that if I were here for too many days in a row, I might be obliged to pay rent. Since it is now four years that I have been without an income, there was no way for me to pay rent. After these last few weeks where she has been ill, the assistants and nursing aids have all gone to the administrator to plead my case, so it is a huge relief that I can now live here. And finally again have access to the internet, something I have missed greatly.

A lot of the stress we were living under has dissipated, although the income problem remains a huge hurdle. Living on PB&J and cereal for months is not the healthiest of diets, but not one I will complain of much, it is so much better than the alternative.

The biggest worry at this time is my Mother’s health. The day before she was put into the rehab facility two weeks ago, her primary doctor stated that she did not think my Mother had too much longer. The reason for her thoughts is because my Mother is almost impossible to diagnose. She has mystery illnesses and though several physicians have attempted to find the cause and reason, they still come up with more questions than answers. My Mother is doing fairly well this week, so I am hoping that her fears are not well-founded, yet the worry remains.

My Mothers’ biggest worry was that my own living situation, she desperately wished us to live together again and now that we can, the stress on her mind is greatly diminished. I am hoping that having that burden lifted will help her recover her strength and will to live.

Other than that, things in life are much the same. The limbo is just a different sort, not quite as chaotic as it was the last few months. It is a bit different to live in a facility with those much older than I, but I have made a few friends here and everyone that has met my Mother adores her, so that is a great help, the aids and those who assist all strive to make her life easier. Also having them here, on call 24/7 takes a lot of stress from me, if there is something she needs help with that I cannot provide, I have someone to call always. That is a lot easier than dealing with calling for paramedics each time there is something I cannot handle. Or if I need respite, that is always available to me. Some come just to visit her, or me, some visit her wherever she is staying, whether the hospital or the rehab facility.

All in all, a much improved situation the last few days, and when she can return here at the end of the week, hopefully it will be much better. I still have to have all the things in storage brought closer, the rent on storage where I lived before is exorbitant, so I am hopeful to find a place much cheaper nearby. Our friends who live near are another source of help, even just in being nearby or visiting.

I am hoping that sometime in the near future that I can return to writing here, I have missed many things that I used to do often and this is one of them. I miss many of you as well, and hope that we can reconnect very, very soon.