Just a quick note..

Though there are not many who read.. I do want to say I appreciate the notes of encouragement. I have been in a hiding mode of late, there has been a lot of stress, nightmares.. and just general feeling of sadness.. and I did not wish to vent all the angst that I feel. Much of it has been written before, so it seemed unnecessary to regurgitate it all over again. Though I know this is the place to do so, if I were.. I suppose I felt that as I already had, I no longer had a place to purge the turmoil within.

So I have hidden.. in IM’s, here.. sometimes going days without logging in, which means I haven’t been leaving notes. Though there are those that I made exception for.. RoseV, Aesa and DarkRen.. That doesn’t mean that I don’t care.. or don’t wish to note.. it’s just sometimes too much has been too much..

I remember when I first started writing here, how it seemed a new avenue, a place to try to grow. I don’t know why I feel I’ve lost that.. maybe it’s because it seems that I’m walking down the same paths still, that at times I don’t feel I make progress.. while at other times it is so evident to me that I have done so.

I suppose this is a time when I do not see it, even though I can re-read to see that I have, I do not feel it inside as I did when I wrote of it.

All these ‘it’ mentions.. I am being redundant, and that is the whole point, feeling redundant.

I apologize for being hidden, for I know many care.. I hope to find my way out of the darkness soon, it is not an easy place to be.

I figure if you truly need to, you know where everyone is. 🙂 I never take it personally when friends don’t keep in contact for extended periods of time. They know I remain right here, just an e-mail, IM, or diary note away. *hugs* I know some of what you feel, as you know I share the emotions, if not the circumstances. 🙂 All my best. Please be well, truly well. *hugs again*

Heehee, I noted before DarkRen did. ;D

you’re missed. i hope you find some light soon. xo

DarkRen

September 30, 2002

This is a place for your mind and creativity, not an obligation. It will be here still when you are ready to devote time to write again. 🙂

*Cups your hands within hers and sits beside you, silently*

Oooh, notes. RYN: Thanks. Helps to know it isn’t as impossible as one’s neurotic brain would think. And I’m still gloating I got here before Ren. Mwaha.

RoseV

I just agree with DarkRen, this place will still be around when you feel ready to come back, so no worries. And if you want, you know where to find us Look after yourself, dear [[hugs}}

RYN: I apologize for my ‘lack of experience’ and my inability to be satisified with others figurative language in an open forum debate. Also, I am very critical of myself for not being up to the standards of people who have zero idea about who and what I am. I hope this clears up any issues anyone may or may not have with me. It’s all names and faces. 😉 ’43

Tenchi

October 2, 2002

*hugs* You’ll write when you have something to write about. 🙂 Don’t force it, and your thoughts will come. Your readers are patient. RYN: Of course I’ll let you know when/if I hear something.

I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you. I pray the remainder of your week is quiet, and that your heart is well. Take care, my friend.

October 14, 2002

(Oct 14) Hi dear, I know I said it will be up to you to show up again when you are ready but anyway, just wanted to stop by to let you know, I am thinking of you and hope you are ok. For as much as you can be with everything going on, but well… Just look after yourself, will you {{hugs}}

hadnt seen you noting lately at Rens place so I wanted to check on you. Hope youre back to yourself again soon.

WantingMore

April 5, 2003

Often I need to regroup as well.. ryn: your survey, I found to be very well thought out… I am sorry its no longer here. My opinions on science were just that.. my opnions.. {{hugs}}