News – Mixed Signals on Iraq

Middle East

Iraqi PM Nouri Maliki says that Iraqi forces will be ready to assume security control of the country in June 2007. Personally, I think he’s going out on a limb with that promise. But I hope he’s right.

Meanwhile the Iraq Study Group, a cross-party cadre reviewing the policy on Iraq, will be putting out a report thatcalls for US troops in the region to shift from combat to support roles. Of course, with Bush vowing to stay in Iraq until he sees fit to withdraw troops(my definition of a term like ‘until the job is complete’ when one has never really outlined the job and its completion), one can assume the majority of the ISG’s suggestions will be ignored.

Bush defends Maliki, saying he’s the right guy for the job. One wonders if this will come back to bite him in the ass like his defense of Putin did. Does anyone really think Bush has any special insight into people? Not I.

So what do we do if the current Iraqi government fails? Not that I hope for that, but better we have a plan for every eventuality, even those less desirable.

If things fail, will the government place the blame on the Iraqis? I’m sure a measure of the blame can go there, but it would be false for us to dismiss our own hand in mucking things up.

Fouad Siniora, PM of Lebanon, states that the government won’t be brought down by protests planned by pro-Syrian groups. We’ll see, I suppose.

The truce seems to be holding, despite continued blips of conflict between Israel and Palestine. Yet, with such things happening, can it really be considered a truce?

Could Arabs, Kurds and Turkomen start a third conflict in northern Iraq over oil?

Africa

The Union of Islamic Courts in Somalia denies accusations that they were behind a car bomb attack in Baidoa. I think the government is making said assumption automatically, regardless of if it is right or wrong.

The AU is staying in Darfur for another six months from January. But the force won’t be expanded from it’s current headcount of 7,000.

The UN will be holding a conference to discuss accusations of sexual abuse of children by UN peacekeepers in Haiti and Liberia. I hate it when people muck things up by doing this kind of stuff.

Asia/Pacific

The US bans the sale of luxuries to North Korea. Not that the US sends much to North Korea anyway.

Looks like worries of an impending coup in Fiji were unfounded for now. Good thing. But the threat does linger.

Europe

Cyprus threatens to block Turkey’s EU membership unless Turkey lifts trade restrictions it holds against them. Gotta love it when you try and cram two nations that dislike each other into the same conglomerate. Kick em both out until they can settle their dispute.

A look into Turkish tensions surrounding the Pope’s visit. The writer does well to describe one of the last protests and puzzle out the intent in the Pope’s speech, which raised much of the anger that is directed at him as of late from Muslims.

Americas

The US government unveils a new citizenship test that moves away from historical facts and focuses on concepts of democracy. The stated aim of the new test is to encourage immigrants to learn this country’s civic values to become better citizens. Immigrant rights groups think the new test is an anti-immigration measure. Prospective citizens will, for example, be asked to explain the conditions which led to the US civil war – unlike the current test in which they simply have to answer that it freed the slaves. One thing is noted that is of concern. Considering that many potential immigrants don’t yet have a strong command of the English language, explaining such detained concepts may be difficult even if they’re known by the applicant.

We’re warned of a pending cyber threat by alQueda, aimed at US online stock market and banking services. However: A spokesman for the Department of Homeland Security, Russ Knocke, said there was no evidence to corroborate the threat. So take it as you wish. The threat runs through the month of December. Best to be aware, just in case it pans out to something. So keep a close eye on any online banking/stock market deals you have going on.

The Registered Traveler program is fake security?

A study claims that declining rates of teen pregnancy in the US are more due to better use of contraception than abstinence. And I think it will ever be so unless there is a radical shift in the social make up of this country. However, I do think that both abstinence and use of contraception need to be equally stressed. It’s preferred that the young wait, but better they know the right way to do things should they not wait.

The MPAA got Califonia lawmakers to kill an anti-pretexting bill, which would prevent companies from using deceptive pretexting ruses to get private information about considers. Screw the MPAA. They’re as bad as the RIAA. Personally, I buy the majority of my movies used, thereby denying the MPAA direct income.

Felipe Calderon takes over from Vicente Fox as president of Mexico. Members of the left-wing party make accusations of electoral fraud. The election was a close one and opposition candidate Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador seems set upon challenging Calderon’s win.

General

Bill Clinton and Indian drug companies have a deal set to provide children with cheaper HIV/AIDS drugs.

Windows Vista is on sale for business users. Home customers will get access at the end of January.

Seems The Nativity Story is just dull.

Explainer describes the makeup of a presidential motorcade. Very interesting.

The Blogs look at newly revealed details of the Iraq Study Group’s final report, Sen. Barack Obama’s foray into the evangelical world and Jim Webb’s awkward exchange with President Bush.

Today’s Papers has an op-ed by three advocates who say even though many more in Africa have been receiving life-saving treatments, there are still too many people dying due to a lack of doctors, nurses, and pharmacists who can administer the drugs, Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack being the first official candidate for president in 2008, a draft report issued by a federal agency that says electronic voting machines “cannot be made secure” if they don’t leave a paper trail and more in the one page news.

Amusements

Neurotically Yours: Word Association

Security crews conduct anti-hijacking exercise, storm a plane, tie up pilots and beat passengers without informing anyone that this was only a drill. Oh, how the hilarity is ensuing

Classic Terry Tate, Office Linebacker… got that cover sheet on your TPS reports?

Today’s “Naked man on crack rescued from alligator” story brought to you by everyone’s favourite state

YouTube quickly replacing MySpace as the cyber home of idiots who post their crimes online for the police to see

If tricked into eating dogfood by coworkers, is it considered (a) a harmless prank or (b) a racist act worthy of a $2.7M lawsuit? If you are reading this on fark, no doubt you can guess the correct answer

If you are busted for hazing your poor neophytes, please refrain from stealing all the newspapers in an effort to conceal your public shame

If you receive parking ticket, should you; A: Pay it and shut up? B: Hire a lawyer to contest for you? or C: Punch out hearing officer in court?

Over 800 customer reviews for a gallon of milk on Amazon.com

AP reports story about Shiite massacre that might not have happened. Military asks AP to prove or retract the story; AP tells military to STFU. That’ll help

Want auto-repair companies to be honest and actually do the work they charge for? Just send in the undercover news car outfitted with hidden cameras. Attorney General’s “Bureau of Consumer Protection” lawsuitilarity ensues. With video

British socialized medicine system advises people who think they are dying of radiation poisoning after flying on British Airways planes not to tie up their phone lines unless their hair is falling out and they’ve turned orange

Today’s “inmate who pretended to be someone else and walked out of jail” story brought to you by Norfolk, VA

Not news: Robber flees…. News: …into police headquarters…. Fark: …during a dedication ceremony with lots of cops

Old and busted: Illegally immigrating on a floating Buick. New hotness: Illegally immigrating on a jetski

Just another day for the Uniontown, Pa. police: Tasering a python after it wrapped itself around man while he was feeding it a rat. “The snake was on his arm and was eating his hand”

Guy in Britain has middle finger sliced off, calls 911, is told to get his own sorry ass to hospital as they can’t spare an ambulance. With photo of him showing off his injury in case anyone in the NHS wants an update on his condition

News Corp. plans to open MySpace to Chinese residents. Be very afraid, but you’ve got crappy music and a potential one billion pages that look like someone vomited HTML to keep you entertained while you do

Fark Photoshop Challenge: Photoshop these abandoned apartments

Fark Photoshop Challenge: Photoshop these tower workmen

Fark Photoshop Challenge: Theme: Fark lunchboxes and school gear