News – Dr. Tran!

Amusements

Dr. Tran: Oh Shit, It’s Dr Tran! – Warning: The linked video has some harsh language, adult themes, dirty humor and one very confused Asian child. Do not watch if you are stuck up, uptight, don’t like bizarre humor or generally have no sense of humor. If you have none of these problems, take a look. Very funny stuff.

Mark Fiore: New Lamp Lifters

Dumb: Trying to smuggle nine tons of fireworks into the New York metro area in a truck. Dumber: Attracting police attention by tailgating as you’re doing it. Dumbest: The truck you’re tailgating happens to be a fuel tanker-trailer

The arrogance of ignorance: A new generation of the serenely clueless is ready, willing and able to destroy your company

Teens concoct cunning plan to extort $150,000 from MySpace, post plan on MySpace

Parachutist is blown off course, directly over top-secret Israeli nuclear facility. Two F-16 fighters dispatched to ensure hilarity

When transporting a quarter million dollars worth of cocaine and marijuana, try not to draw attention to yourself. You know, by doing things like driving at night without your lights on

Couple glad to see ‘American Idol’ season end; hope calls from stray fans will stop

Teeage girls posting on MySpace saying they can’t get enough sex, and they are a slut and a whore isn’t really all that surprising; until you find out they are Marie Osmond’s kids

Man walks into store wearing a mask and points rifle at clerk and demands money, claims he’s “only kidding” then buys a soda and leaves

Hooker caught operating out of HoJo’s, selling her own version of the Clam Roll (with pics)

GM’s master plan — fire permanent employees, replace them with temps. Craptastic cars will create other temps known as “customers”

Coffee shop in Nashville receives photo of stolen nun-bun with Philadelphia postmark. Priory of Scone alerted

Police force argument that speed cameras were installed to reduce accidents somewhat shot to hell by evidence that not one is pointing at any of the 10 most dangerous roads in the city

Teens target family, leaving a boat, fridge, road construction signs on the lawn over 10 month period

Woman gets tired of police helicopter flying around her, shoots bottle rocket at it. Jailarity ensues

Fark Photoshop Challenge: Photoshop these soccer-playing orangutangs

Fark Photoshop Challenge: Photoshop Tom Hanks

Fark Photoshop Challenge: Photoshop this hail-storm enthusiast

Middle East

Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas is taking some gutsy moves to try and get diplomacy back on track. In the immediate, Hamas has moved its personal security forces off the streets, ending the internal clashes. The group won’t be disbanded, but at the very least it removes an element of chaos. Now, he’s given them 10 days to back a plan for Palestinian statehood that includes recognizing Israel. Otherwise, he’ll put the issue up for referendum. Hopefully they’ll acquiesce. The people want peace, even to negotiate with Israel. Hamas needs to think more about the people and less about themselves. That’s the sacrifice for power in a democracy.

A look at conditions in Gaza eight months after the pullout of Israeli troops.

New York Congressman Anthony Weiner makes the Dark Ren shitlist for his aggressive attempts to get the Palestinian delegation at the UN to leave. Mostly for his commentary, quoted as follows: “They should start packing their little Palestinian terrorist bags”. This man should not be in a position of power. Period.

Europe

Putin has decided to start offering payment to women who will have a second child. This a means to try and combat Russia’s declining population. In Portugal, also in such a position, the leadership is proposing tax reforms to punish those with less than one child and reward those with more than two. Would this sort of thing convince any of you to have two or more kids?

North America

The Senate says yes to legislation that some consider to give amnesty to illegal immigrants. Now to see how it fares in the House.

Records seized from Louisiana Democratic Rep. William Jefferson’s office are now sealed for 45 days, pending the end of dispute over the nature of their seizure between the Justice Department and the House. Apparently, there’s a constitutional something that makes searching a legislator’s office illegal.

Vermont becomes the second state to try for universal health care. I hope it works for them and spreads, since a lot of people in this country could use a bit more medical attention.

General

Invisibility cloaks for the military?

Explainer details what a mock dogfight entails. He also sees if, when the FBI knocks over your barn, you can expect compensation.

The Blogs look at the Enron verdicts, reports that the speaker of the house is being investigated for a lobbying scandal and American Idol.

Today’s Papers has Bush admitting he’s not too good at expressing himself, the alleged murder of two dozen Iraqis by marines last November, concern that Iran’s desire for direct negotiations is a trap and more in the one page news.