News – Neutered Congress

North America

The republican led congress caves to Bush over his secret spying program. Just goes to show that republicans in government generally have little spine for dissent. Nor do they have much talent for probing questions. Asks Sen Byrd: What are our plans, he asked, if all-out civil war erupts in Iraq? Will our troops hunker down, will they withdraw? If not, which side will they fight on? Do we have plans for such a contingency? Replies Rummy: “The plan is to prevent a civil war and, to the extent one were to occur, to have the Iraqi security forces deal with it, to the extent they are able to.” What’s the natural response to this? Darkren: Then to what extent are they able to deal with it? Congress: (Silence)

I’m losing my faith in Congress as a whole, just as I have lost it for the executive. Who should I believe in now? Is there anyone left who is worthy of it?

Bush and company, now that the deal is set, sends to Congress proposals for shifts in US law that will make this deal legal. If I were in Congress, I’d laugh and throw this crap back in Bush’s face. If only to spite his tendency to do first and ask later. These proposals could have been submitted months ago, before the deal was sealed. I hope Congress scuttles it. Bush needs to learn.

Bush signs the Patriot Act renewal, once again lauding it as ever so vital. Personally, I don’t think it is, but then they can’t prove it is without compromising it(so they say), so what are you gunna do?

The Bird Flu virus hasn’t made it to US shores yet. But you know it will eventually. Prepare today for what comes tomorrow.

Berkley, California’s Supreme Court decides that the state can deny a free berth in their harbor to a Boy Scouts affiliated group, due to their policy of excluding atheists and homosexuals. Here’s an amusing quote from Harold Johnson, a lawyer with the Pacific Legal Foundation representing the group: “Berkeley has been given license to treat the Sea Scouts as second-class citizens because they don’t meet an ideological litmus test,” Just like the Boy Scouts can treat atheists and homosexuals as second class citizens because they don’t meet an ideological litmus test. Sorry, they’ll get no tears from me.

Michel Jackson is ordered to close down his Neverland Ranch by local authorities who fined him $169k for not paying his employees or maintaining proper insurance. Since he seems to want to leave the place to rot, it might as well be closed down.

You know that place where the WTC used to be? They’re still not sure what to do with it. The longer that place sits there, a big empty spot in the middle of New York, the more it becomes a monument to America’s inefficiency. What that place needs is a modest set of office buildings, wrapped around a modest, poignant monument to the fallen. No new phallic tower to try and prove that we’re still strong. It’s like a middle aged man buying a flashy new sports car. Can a country have a middle age crisis?

Middle East

Iraq’s justice minister says that they have no plans to continue using Abu Ghraib once the US leaves. I’m surprised the US continues to use it, but I agree with the decision to abandon the place in time. Looks like this changeover will come in three months. Good.

Olmert confirms that Israel may target Hamas’ PM designate, if the group gets involved in attacks. As much as t his has been said, you’d thing some Israeli leaders wanted to goad Hamas into acting, just to give them a reason.

General

John Bolton confirms that the US is against a new proposed UN Human Rights body that, while not perfect, is an improvement over the current body. It must not conform precisely to their specifications. I wonder, how much actual reform has Bolton done over there since he was put in place? Has he been initiating any change or just being a block to anything the US doesn’t like?

The Blogs look at Dubai Ports World deciding to hand the deal for US ports to a US company, the arrests made in the Alabama church arsons, and the Project Runway winner.

Today’s Papers has a census report that notes the impending rise in our elderly population and a suggestion that the costs of the demographic shift will be muted by the fact that retirees are far healthier nowadays, Iraq’s first court-sanctioned executions, NASA announcing the discovery of what appear to be geysers on a tiny-teeny moon of Saturn and more in the one page news.

Amusements

Dreary New Zealand city challenges cities worldwide to out-bore it. Joeliebermanville cracks knuckles, says “bring it”

“Crash” DVD sales spike after Oscar win. Twenty-three percent of purchasers pissed to learn they accidentally bought the 1996 David Cronenberg film

The mystery surrounding a found cassette tape with dozens of one-minute songs devoted to the buttocks has finally been solved. Actual titles include “Booty Flava,” “Booty Conniption” and “Girl, Yo Ass is So Fine”

Mom shows support at daughter’s theft trial by coming to court carrying a Chanel purse stolen from one of the victims. Hilarity? It ensued

Mom buys teenage son tickets to Girls Gone Wild tour thinking it was some sort of concert. Hilarity ensues

Campaign to make the planet Hoth the 2014 host of the Winter Olympics

Scottish hospital scraps eight-year-old program of giving McDonald’s vouchers to children who were brave during their treatments because they might get fat and end up in hospital 20 years later or some damn thing

Irish Catholics in a quandry about eating corned beef on St. Pat’s Day, which is on a Friday this year

Woman orders raw fish in restaurant, eats raw fish, gets sick from raw fish and is now suing the restaurant for serving her raw fish

Child of the 1960s is distressed when her young coworkers find feminism incomprehensible and think “consciousness raising” is a North Korean mind control technique

Tonight on MSNBC’s ‘Countdown with Keith Olbermann’, Keith will examine Fox News’ resident rabble-rouser Bill O’Reilly’s paranoia-tinged aversion to the mention of the name ‘Olbermann’ by callers on his talk radio show(Sounds like Bill has gone off the deep end finally)

Mom tries to prank her kids with a fake bomb. It turns out her sons, sheriff’s deputies, and the bomb squad were not amused

Unluckiest crook on earth steals car, then picks house at random to stop and ask for directions at. Father of car owner’s house, as it turns out

Need a bad idea for a practical joke? Texas deputy locks his 13 year old nephew in a cell with a murder suspect

Fark Photoshop Challenge: Photoshop the Web as if it were handwritten.

Fark Photoshop Challenge: Nerd tombstones

Fark Photoshop Challenge: Photoshop Thomas Dolby, evidently still blinded by science