News – Another Speech, Recycled Words?

North America

Ahead of the President’s supposed Iraq victory strategy speech, the White House releases a document on the same, more or less repeating the same basic outline of what the President has planned to do in some vague way. In it they state the obvious. Iraq will be a violent place for some time. I anticipate that the upcoming speech will be nothing new. The same themes, the same vagaries and no substance. Just the age old, ‘Trust us’ bit.

Rummy decides that the guerrillas fighting us in Iraq don’t deserve to be called an insurgency. Why? He had an epiphany! “I’ve thought about it. And, over the weekend, I thought to myself, you know, that gives them a greater legitimacy than they seem to merit,” he explained. Wow, a whole weekend?

Let’s go to Dictionary.com: Insurgency: an organized rebellion aimed at overthrowing a constituted government through the use of subversion and armed conflict. Well, perhaps before Iraq had a new government, it might not have fit, but it sure fits now. Doesn’t say anything about why their being rebellious or if they’re rebellious for the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ reasons. They’re organized, they’re rebellious and I’m sure they’d love to overthrow this newly constituted government and are using both subversion and armed conflict. So I’ll keep calling them insurgents, Rummy, because that’s what they are. They’ve earned the use of that term by being a constant, unyielding thorn on the side of the US military. I don’t think they need anyone to give it to them. Personally, I’m more apt to respect a worthy(worthy, not honorable) enemy than to try and downplay them, as if they’re not all that.

Pointless squabbles over territory and leadership are stymieing programs that are supposed to help countries dry up terrorist funds, says the investigating arm of Congress. Not true, say the various departments accused of being children.

The Army continues to show weakness in gathering expected numbers, so seeks a new means of filling the ranks. Begging those who have served previously to sign back up. I call it begging because I see it as a move of desperation. Though not so much so as when they sought to pull in those elder soldiers not too long ago.

First the Anglican’s split up, now it’s time for a Catholic division as the Vatican comes out with a hard line on gay priests. Is this, as some opine, a misplaced bandage after the wounding scandals of pedophile priests? The Vatican statement said homosexuals should be barred from entering the priesthood along with men with “deep-seated” homosexual tendencies and those who support gay culture. Define support of gay culture? Does it mean if you’re not against same sex marriage, you can never become a priests? Oh well, there goes that dream. 😉

Our 1000th execution is stopped before it can start, his death sentence commuted to life because a court clerk had destroyed evidence during the appeals process in violation of state law. Sounds like enough for a mistrial to be declared to me.

Bush promises unmanned drones to help police our borders.

A judge declines to protect Diebold from criminal prosecution should it fail to disclose software code as required by North Carolina state law, should they sell their voting machines there.

Why can McCain be a Bush hugger without getting tainted by his low numbers? Supporters think he’s fibbing on his like of Bush. Is he? I dunno.

Middle East

Four peace activists taken hostage in Iraq were shown on a video Teusday, where their captors(the Swords of Righteousness brigade) accused them of being spies.

Japan will be extending its Iraq mission by a year, it seems. The US will purr over this, but I doubt the Japanese people will be enthused.

An argument against withdrawal from Iraq.

Asia

Alexander Vershbow the new U.S. ambassador to South Korea is discouraged by North Korea’s approach to talks on dismantling its nuclear programs. I’m sure North Korea feels the same about the US way of approaching things, which tends to amount to submit to our every demand and we might be nice to you.

General

6 million children’s metal necklaces and zipper pulls from Stravina Operating Co. are being recalled due to fears of lead poisoning. THe necklaces are silver-colored with nameplates that hang from a 16-inch black cord. The packages are marked “Personalized Necklace” and “Stravina” with a UPC Code of 0-35203-00039-7. The Zipper pulls are silver-colored with individual names that come in various colors. The products’ packaging contains the words “Personalized Zipper Pull,” “Great for Backpacks and Keyrings too!” and “Stravina,” with UPC Code 0-35203-00038-0. Both were sold from March 2002 to September 2005. Anyone who has anything like this should take the item from their child and call Stravina for a free replacement product at (800) 964-0029.

Blogs chatter about Canada’s falling government, California Rep. Duke Cunningham’s resignation and reports that Scientologists tried to squash a news story about a secret vault and land markings in New Mexico.

Today’s Papers has the Pentagon secretly(through military contractors and Iraqi intermediaries posing as freelance journalists) paying Iraqi newspapers to publish positive news stories(sounds like propaganda to me), the FCC saying cable customers might pay less with an ala carte system for cable(and cable companies saying such a system might erase smaller channels that survive by being bundled with others), some reassurance on the bird flu front and more in the one page news.

Amusements

Man tells FBI he was carjacked, but he wasn’t. He just didn’t want to get in trouble with his girlfriend for banging the prostitute seated beside him

Harry Potter actor admits he’s often mobbed by fans of Elijah Wood who think that he is Frodo

Top 10 porn movies based on the latest movie blockbusters includes “Harry Rotter” and the “On-Fire Gobbling”

Supreme Court rules man must stand outside post office wearing sandwich board that reads, “I have stolen mail. This is my punishment”

Dumb: Following your ex to the police station. Dumber: When the cops come out to investigate, speeding off, side-swiping a patrol car. Dumberest: While speeding away, losing control of your car and driving into the river

Ric Flair surrenders on road rage charges. The Smoking Gun is there with The Nature Boy’s rough mug shot

Without a trace of hyperbole, most Americans are “horrified” at the idea of re-gifting. Also, they’re “appalled and terrified” by gummi worms, “mortified” by hangnails

Dumbass toll collector accepts an unusually large number of counterfeit $100 bills during his shift. Jailarity ensues

Man mistakenly calls cops while searching for crack; gives them his address. In other news: Crack makes you stupid

Fugitive pulls gun on plainclothes cop following a re-enactment of the Budweiser “What’s Up” commercial. Jailarity ensues

Fark Photoshop Challenge: Today’s Iron Photoshop ingredient: Pods.

Fark Photoshop Challenge: Theme: Rejected designs of famous national monuments