News – From the Horse’s Mouth

North America

Bush says: We Do Not Torture. Good. Then tell Cheney to shut up about putting in legislation to prove that. If we don’t torture, let’s back that up. Of course, we could pass prisoners off to other nations that might torture them and still not torture ourselves. If such allegations are true, mind you.

Does Cheney run US national security? I wouldn’t be surprised.

With all that is going on, Bush heads over to Virginia to campaign for the republican. I can think of a lot of ways he could better use that time.

U.S. Energy Secretary Sam Bodman wants top executives of Exxon Mobil and four other major oil companies to detail how they are investing record profits when they testify at a Senate hearing this week. I agree with that. I want to know what they’re planning.

Middle East

The UN seeks to raise $550 million for Pakistan quake survivors as winter closes in and exposure becomes the next danger for these people.

Europe

The riots in France continue into a twelfth night, despite threats of a curfew. At this point, I think France has three options. Give in to suppressing the disorder violently. This would be my last ditch option. Best, I think, is to try and find some form of leaders amongst the rioters to see if there is a diplomatic means of quieting things down. Third is to simply ride it out. Depends if there is anything that can placate the rioters. Right now I’d be focused on determining just what is fueling the disorder, keeping it going for this long.

General

Advertisers could be sneaking ads into games, looking to poke that 18-34 crowd of gamers.

Anti-Smoking folks bash ‘safer’ cigs. Safer is an interesting term, since even a 1% reduction of risk can honestly be qualified as safer. One wonder is, are these cigs negligibly or considerably safer?

Explainer details how French rioters set cars on fire. You know.. just in case you want to let out some frustrations someday. 😉

Today’s Blogs look at Cheney fighting torture restrictions, the FBI examining the records of normal Americans and California’s special election.

Today’s Papers has fears of the France unrest spreading as a few cars in Belgium and Germany are torched, the Pentagon issuing stricter interrogation guidelines, the Supreme Court challenging Guantanimo Tribunals and more in the one page news.

Amusements

Health minister apologizes for referring to optometrists as “terrorists”

With no more pressing needs to address, Louisiana spending federal money on goat shows and lawn-mower races

EU wants to end animal testing because obviously nothing good comes out of it (insulin), why continue our barbaric ways (heart transplants)? Why must we persist (dialysis machines)?

Anti-junk food study finds that one-third of UK kids did not know “potato chips” were made from potatoes, became disgusted when learning that “hot dogs” were actually made from beef and chicken. With obligatory pic of tripe burger

“Jesus Juice” to become a reality. The Smoking Gun is there

Life imitates bad action films as man escapes from prison by posing as his twin brother

Bar owner, who had “Three Stooges” plastic figures stolen from patio 18 months ago, amused to get them back via anonymous chauffeured white limousine

Anti-gay campaigner announces that “the anus is holy.” Hundreds of farkers line up to worship at the sacred shrine of Melissa Theuriau

IRS threatens church’s tax-exempt status because preacher delivered an anti-war sermon prior to the 2004 presidential election

Fark Photoshop Challenge: Photoshop this woman celebrating the first snowfall of the year

Fark Photoshop Challenge: Photoshop these silly pilots

Fark Photoshop Challenge: Photoshop this leap into the watery depths