News – Constitutional Catch 22

Middle East

Iraq’s constitution remains undone as another deadline is missed. The Sunni representatives appear to be at odds with the others over the matter of Federalism, which they don’t care for. It’s possible that the Shia and Kurds could bypass congress and take the draft straight to referendum. But it only requires 2/3 of voters in three provinces to be defeated and Sunnis are a majority in four, so that could be a dead end as well.

Kirkuk’s oil fields get hit. More mayhem aimed at snipping Iraq’s purse strings, forcing the US to foot the bill.

What’s Sharon up to now with the peace process? Nothing, by all accounts.

The Italian Red Cross admits to smuggling four wounded Iraqi insurgents through US roadblocks as part of a deal to free two aid workers kidnapped in Baghdad. An Italian Red Cross official says that the government of Italy had no direct involvement, though it was told.

In Pakistan, five are sentenced to death for their involvement in an assassination attempt on President Pervez Musharraf in December 2003.

Europe

Shamil Basayev, the man behind Russia’s Beslan school siege last year, has been appointed as deputy leader of Chechnya’s separatists.

North America

A classified report on the CIA’s performance is out and it criticizes over a dozen current and former agency officials on 9/11. Sharp language is reserved for Tenet, who is censured for failing to develop and carry out a strategic plan to take on al Qaeda in the years before 2001, even after he wrote in a 1998 memo to intelligence agencies that “we are at war” with it. The report recommends that Porter Goss form accountability boards to recommend action against those who are indicated in the report by title rather than name.

The ACLU and an unnamed library have filed suit against U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and FBI Director Robert Mueller in challenge to the Patriot Act clause which allows the U.S. government to demand information about library patrons’ borrowing habits.

A study notes many retirees are still leery of the Medicare drug program, not understanding how it works. Looks like they need to step up education on it.

Florida gets another hurricane. That’s why I’ll never live in that state. Unless I build an underground domicile.

Who else might be on Pat Robertson’s hit list? His past comments don’t speak well for his character.

General

UN envoys are telling the US to be more open to compromise or risk sinking the plan for UN reform that’s being voted on at a world summit in New York next month. Not unreasonable when someone busts in and suddenly wants to squeeze a 39 page draft down to three or cut it apart and debate it line by line less than a month from the vote.

Today’s Paper has the 9 foot catfish from Thailand, current and former National Park beurocrats grumbling about the administration’s proposal to rollback regs at national parks(I mean, why worry about these lovely vacation spots, let mining and snowmobiles have them), discovery of a hormone in mice that prolongs their lifespans and more in the one page news.

Amusements

Handcuffed man wanders into Wal-Mart wearing prison jumpsuit, asks for hacksaw. Man arrested for attempted portrayal of lame prank

State attorney general demands “Redneck Woman” singer quit chewing Skoal onstage. Being a redneck offstage hopefully still legal

Beer coasters warn British pubgoers about dangers of drunken cliff-walking. Still no coasters warning the dangers of going home with that ugly chick at the end of the bar

Fox News mistakenly labels local couple’s home as a terrorist lair; gives out address on national TV. Hilarity ensues

Bank requires signature in order to close account, so daughter brings in her father to sign. The father was in an urn at the time

Cingular collects old phones from customers for “charity.” A word that in this case means “to be sold on eBay”

Thai Prime Minister unveils new press conference tool: Sounding a hand-held buzzer every time a reporter asks a question deemed “not constructive”

Inmates get sick after they all use the same staple to make themselves new tats. “Stupid” tag trumps “Obvious”

Teen sentenced to community service at cemetary. Promptly breaks into a tomb and plays with a corpse

When attempting to land plane, remember this simple rule: First deploy landing gear, THEN land

Fark Photoshop Challenge: Today’s Iron Photoshop ingredient: Cones

Fark Photoshop Challenge: Photoshop this giant metal flower