1/14/04

mmmm coffee.

We have to go to Target after work. Target is the only store I can really say I like. Well, I do have a slight addiction to dollar stores but when it comes to stores that aren’t dollar stores Target is the shiznit. Anyway, the other day when hubby was installing the window in our bedroom he decided my nightstand looked like a good place to kneel. The nightstand couldn’t take the weight and hubby ended up breaking it. I don’t mind though, it was his nightstand to begin with, I just nazied it b/c I have more stuff I need to have by the bed. But now I can go buy myself a spiffier one. 🙂 I also have to invest in a purse. My backpack purse is snagging my shirts and ruining them so I’m going to have to invest in a real purse *shudders at the thought*. I’m not real fond of purses but I have to carry my stuff around somehow. Nothing worse than not having your wallet with your ID when you want to order alcohol! Or not having your glasses cloth when you smudge your glasses, or any of the other various things that come in handy spur of the moment. Lipstick, breath spray, hair brush, y’know.

*sigh* I really wish I had an office with a door. I’d be one of those people that keeps their door shut 99% of the time. I get so sick of the rude people in this place. There’s a woman just over a little ways from me that is forever being loud and annoying. If she’s not playing her latest presentation with loud wav files, she’s got a gathering of people outside her door oohing and aahing over the newest kid someone has popped out and brought into work. Then the guy across from her not only has an annoyingly loud voice but he belches LOUDLY randomly during the day. I could actually hear him belch over the music playing in my headphone’s yesterday. People gather to chit-chat just outside my wall. I’ve even had them standing just outside my cubicle “door” talking loudly while I am on the phone trying to help someone. The worst part is they could fucking see that I was on the phone. People have also gotten into the habit of tapping on my wall as they walk by. I had a sign up for awhile and it worked to get people to stop, I’ll probably have to put that up again. Granted not all these things happen every single day, but they happen more than they should because really, they should NEVER happen! Any person who’s had any kind of proper raising at all should know they should be courteous and polite. It is not courteous and polite to be loud and obnoxious when you have a very open work environment. *frowns*

I’m hoping to start my psychology degree program in the spring. I don’t know where it’ll take me yet. I could quit at a bachelors and do counseling at a school or college, or career counseling. Or I can go all the way through the Masters and PhD program and eventually have a nice private practice somewhere near where I live. That’s my dream but there’s a lot of variables in life. I’m nowhere near where I thought I’d be at 23 right now, so who knows if I’ll be where I think I’ll be at 43. I don’t really care, all I know is I want to go to school, I want to study psychology and some philosophy so I’m going to do so, even though it might make more sense for me to stay put and study computer science or something. I don’t want computers to be my job in 20 years, for now it’s fine, but my true passion is the human psyche. Well, that and music. 🙂 *pouts* I haven’t been able to play my flute in days!! Y’know, it never fails when I resolve to play my flute regularly or excersize regularly I always end up getting sick so it throws my new routine all off. Hubby and I are going to start working out together in front of the TV rather than just sitting on the couch to watch TV. I am the fattest I have ever been and I hate myself for it. I was slim and in good shape in high school, I owe that to my marching band days when I was forced to run laps, do pushups and just generally stay very active. Once I was done with that, even though my eating habits didn’t change, I gained a ton of weight. My eating habits aren’t that bad, I’ve always eaten less than most people I know. My whole family is big and it takes a lot of work for any of us to be thin. Watching what I eat doesn’t do shit, I have to excersize every single day to stay thin. Plus I have a large frame so I’m naturally bigger to begin with, I can’t fit in anything smaller than a womans size 16 even at my thinnest. *pouts* I’m always envious of women who can wear single digits. I’ve got to work on this though because no matter how many times I tell myself I shouldn’t be ashamed I can’t help but feel shame. I can’t help but wonder what people think when they look at me. It’s been seriously affecting my self-esteem and that’s no good when I already have a disorder that affects my social abilities. Getting myself to socialize becomes next to impossible. *frowns* Anyway, the work sitting on my desk is nagging me so I’m off.