9/23/03

Well, my boss is back early. I was surprised to see her this morning in the cafeteria. I’m glad since things were starting to fall apart around here. It really bugs me because things wouldn’t fall apart so often if it wasn’t for the little company that had to split off from us when AIG bought us out. They’re still leeching off us when what they really need is their own people to work on their own damn telephone directory. Our big company philosophy and way of doing things doesn’t work well for them. There is a directory they can maintain themselves in the works for them but it may be another year or so before development even begins. In the grand scheme of things development of a telephone directory in a different platform for convenience purposes is trivial to a large company with bigger and better things to do.

I don’t get a break from Michele and Marlene until the directory is completed though, which sucks for me.

I’ll kill for a new job. Only problem is I’m not qualified to do anything any better. I’m at the end of my rope. After we get our home equity loan and stuff it might be possible for me to go back to school but that’s a scary thought. Especially with watching my hubby go through it. I just sit there and remember everything that’s wrong with the school system and I just want to change my mind and hide in a hole. The only good thing about college is that I shouldn’t have to worry about all the teasing and torment I went through in high school and stuff. I’m also kind of afraid to go back because I always did poorly in high school. The only classes I did well in were band and English. I always had a perfect 100% in band and in English I usually held an A or a B. I even managed to score an A on my Senior paper, the last research paper we’d ever write as high school students. My teacher even held me after class the day she gave them back and asked if she could hang on to mine as she was very impressed with it. Everything else though I barely managed to scrape by with a D, maybe a C. Well, except Science, I was always good in Biology, just not Chemistry and Physics. Algebra and Geometry were my worst subjects. History and Government I found extremely boring so I never did any of the reading and generally failed or almost failed all the tests. And we don’t even have to talk about Spanish, I hated my Spanish teacher. I find it hard to apply myself when I find something boring or uninteresting or when I have a conflict with the teacher. My Senior Government teacher was an ass and was always picking on me and embarrassing me when he knew I didn’t know the answer. He wrote letters home to my parents about how I didn’t participate. It’s not that I’m stupid or anything, it’s just that the way schools do things is so boring and uninteresting. I’ve learned a lot more since I left high school. My math skills have gotten worse but I’ve learned more history and geography stuff than I ever did in school. The thought of school sends chills down my spine. Especially the thought of math again, ick. I’ll probably be put into a really low level math course which means I’ll need a lot of math. I can’t do anything beyond pre-algebra though and some very basic geometry. I only passed Algebra II my senior year because my teacher let us check our homework ourselves and we didn’t have to turn it in, she “trusted us” not to lie and uh, I lied. I’ll pay for it when I go back to school though, I should have asked for help and leaned it, but I didn’t. Ah well, I guess, like everything though I’ll be ready to go back to school in time. I still think I need a couple years before I put something like college on my plate.

My allergies are bad this morning. So are hubby’s. I was half tempted to stay home this morning but decided that’d be a bad idea considering Marlene might have a fit today or something.

I need some flowers. I don’t know why but I ordered a little green vase with my last makeup order. I use Yves Rocher to buy my makeup, they have really good stuff. But they sell things like candles and stuff too. I saw a cute little $2.00 vase and decided I wanted it because I don’t own a vase. I usually put flowers in tall shot glasses on the rare occasion that hubby picks some for me. I usually have to hide them from the cats though so I decided the vase would look good on my desk. hmm Y’know what would look cool in there? Black roses! Hubby needs to score me some black roses. 🙂 I’d settle for anything not pink though.

Anyway, I should go. I need to help someone with something and scan some forms.